Uncommon Habits for the New Year

by Andrew Cromwell

This year, just as in year’s past, most will make some new year’s resolutions. We will determine to lose weight, get back in shape, spend more quality time with family, save money, and read more. We resolve to do differently because we want to be different! 

Inherently we know that if we are going to become better people we have to change our habits. Habits have the power to transform our lives for better or worse. We can be filled with peace and patience or anxiety and angst, all depending on how we order our lives. According to Justin Whitmel Early, “habits form [not just] our schedules, they form our hearts.”

Let me suggest three habits—three new year’s resolutions—that could have the power to change your year because they have the power to influence your heart. Let me warn you, these habits are countercultural. They are uncommon. But uncommon habits lead to uncommon lives. And uncommon lives have the power to change our world.

The first uncommon habit is Scripture before Screen. It is as simple as it sounds. And yet, for many of us, we have become so trained by our technology that we no longer are in control. For many of us, our phones are both our alarm clocks and our mindless entertainment (not to mention the way we communicate with the world). So the phone tends to be the first thing we grab as we wake up in the morning. If the phone is not your screen of choice then it might be the television or something else. This simple habit involves a decision to first stare at the mirror of God’s Word before anything else. It may be the single best strategy for having daily devotions that we have available to us today! 

The second uncommon habit is One Meal with Others. For some, this habit may not be a challenge. But increasingly we live in a world where we are disconnected from others. Our lives are filled with activity and yet we find ourselves eating alone. Sometimes we might eat next to others but we aren’t really with them because we are so preoccupied with our technology. This habit is all about connecting relationally with the people around us. We all have to eat, why not turn it into a meaningful time for conversation and connection? Imagine if you planned your life and work around connecting with others rather than the other way around?

The third uncommon habit is One Hour with Phone Off. It sounds easy, but for many of us, the very thought of being without your device brings on a panic attack. Perhaps that’s why this one is important. Pick a time and turn your phone off completely. It’s not good enough just to put it on silent or to turn it over. Turn it completely off. Oh, and don’t cheat with other devices -- turn off the Apple Watch, the iPad, and any other device that stands between you and the physical world. The world will go on. You will be free. And you might notice some things you’ve been missing. 

You might have noticed that two out of three of these habits have to do with technology. The simple fact is that our lives, our hearts, and our relationships are being shaped by tech in ways that we often don’t realize. Perhaps 2020 will be the year when we begin to take back control of what shapes our hearts! 

Ready or Not

by Tim Howard

Are you prepared for 2020? Ready or not, it will be here in a few days! For me, the New Year will give birth to a new season of life as I officially retire on December 31, 2019.

As my career concludes after 46 years of ministry as a Pastor, I now have the privilege of serving God and people in a different capacity.

Preparing for the future can be overwhelming unless you have set goals and know what you are reaching for.

Listen to a paraphrase of what the Apostle Paul said as he spoke to the Philippian people and prepared himself for his future.

I want to know Christ in a very real way. I’m on the right path but haven’t arrived yet – far from it!  There is a goal that I am pressing on to obtain and that goal is to live a lifestyle honoring God. I am focusing on what is ahead and letting go of that which is behind. I encourage all of you to do the same. 

Please notice the three specific things Paul did: He declared his goals, shared his goals and documented them for us! If you aim at nothing you will hit it! That’s right: You will hit nothing! What do you really want to accomplish in 2020? Speak it out. Write it down. Share it with someone. Paul did and it’s important for us as well.

It’s also imperative to let go of the past! You won’t be able to embrace tomorrow if you are still holding onto yesterday.

Here are three things you should leave behind as you exit 2019 and enter 2020.

1. Guilt

Remorse, regret and guilt grow when we focus on our mistakes, failures, inadequacies and sins. When you have received the gift of forgiveness from Jesus through confession of your sins, however, your guilt gives way to God’s goodness and your past gives way to freedom!

2. Grudges

We’ve all been hurt: It may have come from disappointments or failing miserably. Maybe someone abused us in some way or we made some terrible decisions on our own. Even though we’ve experienced pain, we don’t have to ‘hold a grudge.’ You can turn it over to God. It’s a better solution than blaming yourself or others for your current status. It’s amazing how much lighter and brighter you feel when you let a grudge go.

3. Grief

Jesus came to help us with our grief. In this world you will have trouble, the Bible says but Jesus said: “take heart! I have overcome the world.” According to Isaiah the prophet, Jesus came to help us find the gold in the midst of the dirt we find ourselves mired in at times. He can help us praise instead of grieve.

Last of all, to be ready for 2020 you must change your focus. Paul said: I press on – I focus on what is ahead and commit myself to reaching the goal. What is your goal? What do you need to do in order to become a better mom or a better dad in 2020? What do you need to do in order to be a better friend – a better employee? Focus on that and go full steam ahead.

The New Year is full of opportunities and challenges. Ready or not, here it comes!

Divorce Day

by Andrew Cromwell

This week I learned the first business day in January is known in some circles as “divorce day" because of the number of divorce filings that happen on that day. It doesn’t take much imagination to figure out why. The holidays are some of the most stressful times of the year. Beginning with Thanksgiving and running through Christmas and New Year’s, the last two months of the year are ripe with opportunities for relationship hurts, family drama, and offense. Whether we are hosting events in our own home or visiting relatives, the stress tends to lead to short tempers and sharp tongues. We are often not at our best even as we are trying to look like we are.  

It doesn’t take long and we find ourselves frustrated with our spouse: wounded by their looks or words and adding up the offenses. Throw in our tendency to avoid real conversation until a “better time“ and you have people holding on just so they get through the holidays (because no one wants to have that difficult conversation in the middle of what is supposed to be a happy season). By that time, many couples are so frustrated and so fatigued they begin to believe the only way out is divorce.

Don’t let it happen to you!

As we roll into this holiday season, I’d like to encourage you to not become a statistic. I believe by intentionally doing three simple (but not necessarily easy things), your marriage can become stronger in spite of the stress.

First, expect that things are going to be stressful and that you and your spouse are going to react in less than perfect ways. Stop idealizing and romanticizing the season. While the holidays present us with amazing opportunities to enjoy family and friends, they are also riddled with land mines waiting for one small misstep. So don’t be caught off-guard this season. Prepare for things to go less than perfectly. Anticipate that your spouse is going to run out of patience at some point and they are going to look at you cross-eyed and maybe even say something hurtful. OK, now that you’re prepared, decide right now to extend extra grace and forgive. Instead of getting your feelings hurt just forgive and move on. That one little decision can save your marriage.

Second, keep the air clear between you and your spouse. This will require you to make an effort! Check in with your spouse in the morning or in the evening (or even both). Ask them how they’re feeling, let them know how important they are to you, and even ask for forgiveness for being a jerk that day (because you probably were). Talk about the calendar and the stress and the kids and the gifts and the expectations. Remind yourself that you are on a team together. This proactive move will keep you connected to each other and help you to come through the season united and ready for the new year.

Third, ask God to help you! Don’t ever underestimate God’s power and desire to help your marriage. He is ready and willing to help. Ask Him to change your heart, help you to forgive, help you to serve, and help you to love better! Ask Him to bless your spouse and your marriage. Invite Him in and then go and walk in His strength.

New Year, Fresh Start

by Andrew Cromwell

Every new year brings new opportunities to begin again. Of course, we could say that the turning of the new year is nothing more than the calendar resetting. We are all just one day older and December 31st is not really much different from the next day — you are still in the same family, work at the same job and have the same old problems. But there is something different about a new year.

The new year is a line in the sand. It is here that we can definitively say last year is over and the new year begun. We close the books financially on December 31st. Old laws sunset and new laws go into effect. 

Personally, when the ball drops, we have the opportunity to begin again. Sure, the past doesn’t disappear, but the potential for a different future begins right here, right now. Over the coming weeks and months, there will be much said about how most new year’s resolutions are abandoned quickly in favor of the old routine. And if you are not careful, you will be discouraged before you begin. But don’t be, just because we try and don’t succeed, doesn’t mean we should stop trying!

So in this new year, let me encourage you to take some time to imagine a future that is better than the one you are currently living. I’m not suggesting you make a new year’s resolution to win the lottery and make all your problems disappear. Rather, that you set your sights a little higher and a little farther than where you currently are.

First, take some time to look back. Look back at the last year. What was the good, the bad and the ugly? What was accomplished? What was not? Are you a better, more giving person now than at the beginning of the year? Are you closer to God or farther away? What about the people that make up the fabric of your life—your spouse, your kids, your parents, your close friends—have you taken steps to deepen the quality of your relationship or did you throw stones and damage it?

Second, in light of your reflections, think about where you’d like to be at the end of next year. Where would you like to be spiritually? Where would you like to be relationally? Where would you like to be financially? 

Third, think about what kind of things a person would do who had those character traits. For example, what would a person do who was close to God? Would they pray more (maybe talk to God like they had a personal relationship with Him), go to church or attend a Bible study, or look for opportunities to give themselves to others? How about a person who was an excellent spouse or parent? What would they do in order to maintain those relationships? 

After you have a few examples of what these types of people would do, then pick a few of those actions to do yourself. Begin to do the things and you might be surprised to find that you become the person you desire to be.

New Year, New Chance

by Andrew Cromwell

As the calendar turns, we once again wrestle with the realization of how little we’ve changed over the last twelve months. The year passed so quickly. Resolutions that we made with dedicated resolve at the beginning of the year were quickly discarded as we found the rut of our routine too comfortable and familiar.

And now we find ourselves at the beginning of a new year and we are tempted to give up even before we have started. We wonder, is there really any point? Can I, in fact, change? Or will 2014, simply be a repeat of 2013?

Let me encourage you not to give up too soon! Change isn't easy and quitters never win. Just because you have failed in the past, does not mean you must fail in the future. I love the Bible verse in Proverbs that says, "the godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again" (Prov. 24:16). The difference between failure and success is often simply the decision to get up one more time and try again.

The best news of all is that you do not have to undertake your New Year's resolutions all by yourself, if you will simply invite our Heavenly Father to be involved in the process. After all, He wants you to grow and change! He knows what great things are possible in and through you because He created you for greatness in the first place.

So what resolutions do you need to invite Him to be a part of this year? Maybe you have some dirty laundry you need to give up to Him instead of carrying it forward. Perhaps you need to make a few phone calls, ask forgiveness and mend those broken relationships. Or maybe you need to change some old routines and exchange them for new ones. Sometimes we have done things for so long, we just assume that we must do them, but maybe it’s time to give up some of the old patterns of behavior.

One of the best things you can do is be around people who have resolved to grow and change. If all your friends are resolved to stay the same and to keep you there too, it might just be time to get some new friends.

Start Little

by Andrew Cromwell

The New Year is upon us.  Tis the season of life resolutions, gift returns and personal reflection.  Every year we collectively decide to join the gym, get back in church and work a little harder.  And that is as it should be, a new year is a wonderful time for a new start.

But a new year can also be a bit overwhelming.  If we are not careful, we start to focus on last year’s failures and all our unfulfilled resolutions.  We become jaded and stop believing that next year can be different.  But it does not have to be so.

Last week I was reflecting on the New Year and I wrote the following:

 Don’t be satisfied with yesterday’s success.
 Don’t be discouraged by today’s failures.
 Don’t be overwhelmed by tomorrow’s challenges.
 Instead, remember that growth happens little by little.

It has been said that we overestimate what we can do in a day and underestimate what we can do in a year.  It is not that our new year’s resolutions are too big, rather that our will to whittle away at the goals is too small.  More often then not, we get overwhelmed, even before we begin, and quit.

Remember, new beginnings don’t need to be grandiose, they just need to begin.  Zechariah 4:10 says, “do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin…” The key to having a wonderful 2013, is to recognize that growth in our life usually happens little by little and to just begin!

I’m reminded of an old phrase that says, “Little is much when God is in it.”  God doesn’t need much, He just needs something to work with.  I am resolving to give Him something to work with in this New Year.  I’m starting small, but I’m starting.

What are you giving Him to work with in 2013?  What new beginning will you start?  Perhaps you need to get back in church?  Maybe you need to rekindle your love for your spouse? Or maybe you need to start chipping away at those educational goals?  Whatever it is, just remember to get started!

So as we enter the New Year, let me remind you that God wants to meet you in a new way in 2013.  He has good things in store for you and wants to release new blessing in your life.  The key is to get moving in the right direction!

New Year, New Chance

by Andrew Cromwell

As the calendar turns, we once again wrestle with the realization of how little we’ve changed over the last twelve months. The year passed so quickly. Resolutions that we made with dedicated resolve at the beginning of the year were quickly discarded as we found the rut of our routine too comfortable and familiar. 

And now we find ourselves at the beginning of a new year and we are tempted to give up even before we have started. We wonder, is there really any point? Can I, in fact, change? Or will 2012, simply be a repeat of 2011? 

Let me encourage you not to give up too soon! Change isn't easy and quitters never win. Just because you have failed in the past, does not mean you must fail in the future. I love the Bible verse in Proverbs that says, "the godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again" (Prov. 24:16). The difference between failure and success is often simply the decision to get up one more time and try again. 

The best news of all is that you do not have to undertake your New Year's resolutions all by yourself, if you will simply invite our Heavenly Father to be involved in the process. After all, He wants you to grow and change! He knows what great things are possible in and through you because He created you for greatness in the first place.
 
So what resolutions do you need to invite Him to be a part of this year? Maybe you have some dirty laundry you need to give up to Him instead of carrying it forward. Perhaps you need to make a few phone calls, ask forgiveness and mend those broken relationships. Or maybe you need to change some old routines and exchange them for new ones. Sometimes we have done things for so long, we just assume that we must do them, but maybe it’s time to give up some of the old patterns of behavior.

One of the best things you can do is be around people who have resolved to grow and change. If all your friends are resolved to stay the same and to keep you there too, it might just be time to get some new friends! The pastors in Kings County would love to encourage you and help you get a fresh start for the New Year. Maybe one of the best decisions you could make would be to get right with God, get in His house and start looking at yourself through His eyes. You’ll be amazed at the wonderful things He has in store for you!

A New Year's Blessing

by Andrew Cromwell

The New Year is here. Today alternately marks the end of the holiday season and the beginning of a new calendar. Today we turn from reflecting on the past year and we look forward to what the new year brings. Traditionally, this is the day that our new year’s resolutions begin too—to lose that extra poundage we gained during the Christmas season, to make those phone calls and stay connected better, to get out of debt and to spend more time with family.

This year, rather then give you another strategy on how to keep your resolutions; I decided to simply write a blessing for you and yours for the new year. Scripture says that giving a blessing to others is part of what we are supposed to do as followers of Christ (1 Peter 3:9). Speaking a blessing over others is powerful because you are bringing your words into agreement with the One who is the Father of all blessing and life.

So here goes:

In this new year, may the Spirit of the Living God sustain and strengthen you. May His wisdom guide you with clarity in moments of confusion. May His hope encourage you in moments of despair. May His power gird you up when you are weak. May His light shine in every dark place and bring life to that which has long been dead.

I pray that the eyes of your heart, your spiritual eyes, would be opened to see His goodness and that as you reach out to Him, you would find Him. May the riches of His glory fill your heart and home. May you find His favor extended to you daily as you encounter the challenges of life.

May your children be blessed. I pray that they would excel among their peers and have favor with their teachers and administrators. I declare a new sensitivity in their hearts and minds to the words and ways of the Living God. I speak protection over them wherever they are—on the playground, in the classroom, on the school bus and at home.

I pray that you would have a new resolve to do that which is right and good; that your speech to others would be seasoned with grace and love; that your actions would flow from an open and giving heart; and that your steps would be ordered by the Lord.

May this year be a year of great blessing and great increase. I pray that in Him you would find the resource for all that is lacking and that it would not only fill you but that it would also supply the needs of those around you to the glory of our God and Father. Amen.

The pastors of Kings County would love to have the opportunity to teach you how to walk continually in the blessing of God. One of the greatest blessings you can give to your family this year is to start them off right and help them get under the umbrella of God’s blessing.