Out of Control

by Candace Cortez

Most mornings, my routine includes sitting and reading scripture, praying, listening to worship music, and making lists to organize my thoughts for the day. Literally, the simple act of writing my thoughts and tasks down allows me to relax about some of the things in my head. After I write this list, I often read the news and try to get updated on what’s happening in the world. This next habit, if I let it, will literally try to snatch away the peace gained by mediation and organization. It is often a highlighted reminder that I am not in control.

We are packing for a vacation, trying to soak up the last days of summer. In the process, I do everything I can to prepare for what could happen, and what I would need to still enjoy my time and provide for my family. I pack extra socks, in case for whatever reason we lose, or damage the ones that are appropriate for the number of days we will be gone. I bring snacks, things to entertain on the ride, and as many phone chargers as I can get my hands on. I screenshot the directions to our location in case my plethora of chargers bail out on me. We even have a basic first aid kit. But it never fails that when we arrive at the destination, something unexpected arises, and we need something we don’t have! It’s kind of frustrating. This is a reminder that I am not in control!

We have two incredible children, who are doing pretty well in school. We are doing what we can to raise them with care and help them love others through their words and actions. We have taught them about hard work and how to wash their hands. We are teaching them the importance of connection with God and how to hear His voice. We are forcing them to eat a certain ratio of vegetables each meal and are working to help them understand why. But then, I still get phone calls from family or from their school, letting me know that something unexpected happened. No matter how much parenting I put in, I am not in control.

I could go on with examples for days about the moments and ways I am not in control of all of the things that happen in our lives. I have experienced this position of being out of control result in a few different responses: anxiety, working excessively to regain control or peace. One of the ways that I can respond in peace to the unexpected things that happen in life is to remember that I may not be in control, but God is always in control.

Paul writes in Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Just because something is unexpected to me, does not mean it’s out of God’s hands! Just because it’s out of my hands, doesn’t mean it’s out of control. Sometimes the peace we need in our hearts begins BEFORE the crisis. You do not lock the doors and set an alarm while thieves are in your house. You guard your house before the invasion happens. Before you begin to lose your peace to the whirlwind of impossible or out of control, begin to protect your heart with God-given peace. This peace is beyond understanding. It can literally be confusing to others around you how calm you can be in times of chaos or emergency or the unexpected. It may even be confusing to you! 

Today, I admit, that I am out of control. But I stand firm on the fact that God has all power, and has my life in His hands. I have the ability to prepare, but my preparations do not guarantee an easy future. We all have some work to do in preparing the quality of our hearts. We can acquire peace that lasts through the trials. We do know that trials will come. Do you know how your heart will be when those trials arrive? I pray for peace, not for control, because He is already taking care of that.

Get Your Mind Right

by Andrew Cromwell

Life is frustrating. Just about the time things appear to be in order, something goes wrong. Often it seems as if all we do is crisis management, running from one fire to the next, just trying to keep our head above the water. And then when everything is going smoothly, we start to worry because we know something is about to go wrong. So even the enjoyment of these moments is robbed from us.

If this describes your situation, then I have a suggestion. Instead of worrying about what could go wrong and instead of being overwhelmed by the impossible task of trying to fix and control everything in your life, give that up. Seriously. Stop trying to fix and control the things that you can’t.

We don’t like this suggestion because we generally prefer to live in the fantasy where we are able to control and carry everything. We tell ourselves that if we just keep moving, keep talking, keep working, and keep fixing, then things won’t fall apart. But we need to remember that very often we are just afraid of being still as we obsessively nag and manipulate those around us in order to create the world that we want.

Sorry if I stepped on your toes there.

So stop focusing on the things that you can’t control in the first place. Stop worrying about all the stuff you can’t even do anything about. The Bible’s advice is to take the things you are worried about and turn them into prayers and God will give you peace in exchange for anxiety:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. — Philippians 4:6-7

Instead of focusing on things you can’t do, focus on the things you can do! We often ignore the things we actually can do, failing to realize the incredible power these things have. Instead of worrying about whether or not you are going to lose your job and being paralyzed by it, you can talk to your boss, show up earlier and work your hardest. Instead of worrying about your marriage or your relationship with your kids, you can plan a date, write a note, or do something special for them. And instead of wishing things were different so you could finally do “x”, maybe it’s time do actually do something about it.

Above all, we should never think prayer is not doing something. Very often prayer is exactly the thing we need to do, but because prayer involves us slowing down and talking to God, we feel like it doesn’t really “do” anything. Prayer has the power to change both us and the situation. It is the process of inviting the supernatural into the natural.

We should never underestimate that.

Money is a Big Deal

by Andrew Cromwell

Everyone knows that money is a big deal. There are songs about working for it. Movies about stealing it. Books about making it. Magazines that show pictures of incredible ways to spend it. You can go to seminars on how to manage it, invest it, grow it and multiply it. Entire businesses are built on giving money advice and figuring out ways to help people save what they have and grow it for the future.

Some people who have money, pretend they don’t. And some people who have none, act like they have a lot. Some spend their whole lives saving it and others, blowing it.

Yeah, it’s a big deal.

It’s a funny thing though, because as soon as you start talking about it, people get weird. No one likes to get told what to do with their money. This is particularly challenging when you’re a pastor like I am because people don’t like you to bring up money in church. The moment the subject comes up, people get mad.

But here’s the problem.

Jesus actually talked about money quite a lot. Like a lot a lot. Like more than heaven and hell combined. The only thing He talked more about was the Kingdom of God.

And here’s what it comes down to. Either God controls your money or your money controls you.

Jesus said it pretty bluntly when He said, “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

Apparently money is the kind of thing that is so corrosive on our hearts that the question of who is in control of it is critical. You just can’t have it both ways. And yet, that’s often exactly what we try to do. We want to love God and walk in the right way, but our attention keeps getting pulled in other directions. We feel bad because we know we are supposed to be putting God first, but we really, really want the new car, house, boat (or whatever you’re in to) and so we throw a few dollars God’s way to help alleviate our guilt and we spend the money without taking the time to ask Him what is best.

The only way that I know of to keep the green eyed money monster from taking control of your heart, is to put God first in this area. And the only way to do that is to treat your money like it is God’s and not yours. If it’s God’s money then you don’t get to spend it any which way you like. You don’t spend first and ask later. And you don’t decide how much to give based on how much is left in your bank account after you’ve bought what you want.

You have to flip all of that on it’s head. Because the truth is most of us treat Citibank or Chase like our God rather than God Himself. How? Well, we pay the bank first and put God second, third, fourth or last. But what if we set aside money from each and every paycheck to give as an offering to God first, rather than last. (There’s actually some guidance in Scripture as to how much we should set aside, but I don’t want to get too real here.) Wouldn’t that say something about our priorities? Only people who are serious about putting God first do that kind of craziness.

But people who live this way don’t live their lives driven by debt and out of control desires. They have killed the greed monster because they have decided that God is going to be first in their money rather than their money being first in their lives.

Who’s in control of your money? And how’s that working for you?

Disappointed

by Blake Cromwell

As Israel left Egypt and headed towards the Promised Land, God led them through the wilderness to teach them to trust Him. He used the wilderness as a training ground to improve the character of His people. In the wilderness, Israel lacked sufficient water, they missed the Egyptians cuisine and they resented their leader. Israel was constantly disappointed and they allowed their disappointments to control their destiny. We can learn a better way.

In life there are three common disappointments. If we can identify these areas early, then perhaps we won’t fall into the trap Israel did. First is disappointment with things. The toys our kids just had to have last Christmas are now stacked in the closet and the kids are on a quest for bigger and better stuff. Things are great, but they break and rust, and if we aren’t careful we will begin to be controlled emotionally by them. Things can enhance our lives but they can never totally satisfy.

Second is disappointment with events. Reservations are lost, jets delayed, hotel rooms are smaller than we expected and the kids are bored with the selection of TV stations. Most of us need a vacation after the vacation. We plan a date with the wife and the babysitter cancels at the last minute and leaves us at home disappointed. Events have a way of falling apart, and if we aren’t careful we become frustrated and bitter because “it just never works out.”

Third is disappointment with people. People let us down, they cop out, they don’t follow through and then they criticize us for not being more understanding. You loan out money or a lawn mower and never see it or the person again. People just have a way of falling short of our expectations. The trick is not to let our disappointment make us cynical, for then we will forever be caught in a vicious cycle.

These common disappointments test our reactions, our attitudes, our faith and our character. Like Israel whom God lead into the wilderness where they faced disappointments, we too face daily disappointment that test our character. The question is do we see God in the common disappointments of life or do we just become frustrated and anxious?

Israel’s response to a lack of water or a delay in the journey was to gripe, grumble and criticize. That kind of response is called immaturity. One minute Moses is their hero, the next minute he is a zero. Israel reminds me of children who quickly forget the labor and love of a parent. Did you know the average homemaker prepares 30,000 meals and makes 40,000 beds in a lifetime? Have you ever taken this for granted? I know I have.

Our life is not meant to be controlled by “things, events and people.” Life is a gift we have from God. In life, we make the choice to be happy or miserable. God gives us a free will to embrace what we will face today with either excitement or dread. What we do with things, events, and people is up to us. If we choose to make the best of them, we will begin to develop the character that God is looking for in each of us.

Today don’t be fooled by disappointments, rather look at them as opportunities to develop good character. All of life is a decision. What choice will you make today?