The Bottom Line

by Tim Howard

On July 8 I will begin a short series at Koinonia Church titled: The Bottom Line! Those who consider Koinonia their church home know that Loving God and Loving People is our bottom line. We call it a Passion for God and Compassion for people.

In thinking about my love for God and people – It’s been a long learning process! Understanding how to love God and people ‘His Way’ has taken decades. I am a slow learner! For example it took me years to discover that people often need the most love when they deserve it the least.

I learned a lot about loving God and people from my wife!

In the early years of my marriage, I did a lot of foolish things and wasn’t a very good husband. I could blame it on youthfulness since I was only 22 years old, immaturity, stress, difficult times or I could simply acknowledge the truth. I was self-absorbed. Life was all about me! In 45 years of marriage, we have had our share of bad times!  The word divorce has crossed our minds but one word has proven to be more powerful than the desire to go our separate ways. That word is FORGIVENESS and I’m convinced this is the ultimate proof of love!

The Bible tells us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God forgave us thru Christ.” Forgiveness reveals God’s love and lays the foundation for everything God does. Jesus offers forgiveness to those who choose to follow Him. He offers forgiveness to those who fail and choose to do unwise things and He even offers forgiveness to the ones who hate Him. That’s love!

You cannot have a long-lasting, growing, ongoing, in-depth, healthy relationship without forgiveness! Something will happen, your relationship with stall, someone will do something unintentionally or intentionally and if there is no forgiveness – The relationship ends.

Un-forgiveness locks a person into the past and provides a great environment for bitterness, resentment, hatred, and anger to flourish but forgiveness cuts the cords to the past and gives you the possibility of a bright future. It’s one of the top five tools you need in your toolbox in order to maintain a growing relationship. Acceptance, Respect, Trust, and Truth are the other four.

Forgiveness is definitely not the easiest choice to make but it is the best! Holding a grudge, getting even, remaining bitter and choosing to walk in resentment may feel good but it will ultimately destroy you.

God’s Bottom Line is revealed in the words of Jesus found in Mark 12.

Love God with everything you have and Love your neighbor as yourself. Simplified: Love God – Love people!

Yes, It’s taken me years to grow the type of love God desires and it’s still in process. I have so much more to learn but thanks to God who forgives me, my wife who is patient with me and the people who are committed to helping me, I’m making progress! 

The Bottom Line is: If we want to love God and people ‘His Way’ we must learn to forgive.

Forgiveness

by Andrew Cromwell

There is an old Spanish story about a father and son who fought bitterly and became estranged. The son disappeared into the night and the father was left broken-hearted. He searched high and low for his son but could find him nowhere. Finally after more than a year and on the brink of giving up all hope, he placed an ad in a Madrid newspaper. “Paco”, the ad read, “this is your father, all is forgiven. Please meet me at the offices of this newspaper this Saturday at noon.” At the appointed time, the father arrived at the newspaper’s offices only to find 800 Pacos lined up down the street.

We all desperately need forgiveness and reconciliation. There is something deep inside of all of us that craves for someone to release us from the burdens we carry. We can’t help but walk through this life and say and do things that are hurtful to others. We made promises we didn’t keep. We opened our mouths when they should have stayed shut. We lashed out when we should have reached out. And now we owe.

We owe debts to our children, debts to our spouse, and debts to our friends and family. And these debts cannot be repaid like one pays the tab at a restaurant. We know that we can do more and try to make it up to the person, but more often than not, what is required is their forgiveness. We cannot force forgiveness, it is either given or withheld. It is not found in words alone, but in the invisible work of the heart.

We seem to be in the business of creating debts that require forgiveness. And, honestly, there really is little hope for us to be truly forgiven if we look to humanity alone to offer it. For humans are fickle creatures, often unwilling to forgive even if forgiveness is “deserved.” And, God forbid, what happens if we owe a debt to someone and they die before offering forgiveness to us? Can the debt ever be forgiven?

I am convinced there is no way to solve the problem unless we come into contact with the Divine. Only One who is truly higher than us can absolve us completely of our sin against each other. But what must we do so that Heaven will forgive us?

The answer is found in Jesus Christ. The One who is fully human and fully divine. The One who offers forgiveness to all who are willing to receive it. The great news is that His forgiveness is not based on performance, it is based on His love. He does not offer it to only a select few, but to all. There are no hoops to jump through, no religious rites to practice, no divine checkboxes to tick.

Forgiveness comes through relationship. John, one of the great authors of the New Testament, writes that “To as many as received Him [Jesus], to them he gave the right to be called children of God.” Receiving Jesus means putting Him in the driver’s seat of your life. It doesn’t mean that you live perfectly, it means that you are continually seeking His way rather than your way.

When we receive Him in this way, then He gives us “the right” to be God’s children. That means that we have His full acceptance and His full forgiveness. Just as the greatest Father you could ever imagine would always, always, always be ready to receive His children with open arms no matter what. So too, God is ready with open arms today for all those that receive Jesus.

Need forgiveness today? The first step is to find it in Christ.

Forgiven

by Tim Howard

Jesus taught His disciples to ask for forgiveness. He said: “When you pray…. say Forgive us our sins as we also forgive everyone who sins against us”

 I have discovered many truths about God over the years that go far beyond the fact that He is truly alive, active and involved in the lives of people. God loves people, God is all-powerful, God is just, God is faithful even when we are faithless and God never gives up on us – just to name a few.

One of life’s great truths about God is tremendously liberating and life altering. He is forgiving!

If it weren’t for His forgiveness, none of us could have a relationship with Him. For that matter, you couldn’t have any long-term relationship with anyone. My marriage would never have survived had my wife chosen to not forgive me for the hurt I caused her. My family relationships with my sons would have been destroyed had we not offered mutual forgiveness at various times.

Un-forgiveness is the tether that holds you prisoner to your past hurts. It will keep you from soaring above and beyond adversity and challenges. At times it may feel right to choose un-forgiveness rather than forgiveness because the pain of the hurt goes so deep but the ramifications are negative and long lasting.

Maybe you hurt someone and they won’t forgive you. Your relationship is over! Possibly someone has injured you emotionally or relationally and you won’t forgive them. The result is the same – separation and devastation.

Forgiveness brings healing to hurts and we all get hurt now and again. There are physical hurts but there are emotional hurts as well. Beyond that, I believe relational hurts cause the deepest pain.

Hurts happen because of what people say to us and think about us. That old adage “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me” is simply untrue. Words hurt and can be conveyed in non-verbal ways as well. Words can kill your spirit, wound your emotions and divide good friends.

Hurts happen because of what people do to us. The Bible is full of stories and you have many examples of times when people did something to you that brought much pain. Maybe they betrayed you or cheated you or lied to you. Whatever it was, it hurt.

One of the worst ways of dealing with hurt is to repress it. Minimize it. Ignore it. A man by the name of Absalom did just that when a family member was taken advantage of – you can read about it in 2 Samuel 13 –He kept it inside – repressed it for two years and finally exploded by him killing the person who did the offense.

It’s best to talk about the hurt. Talk to God first! Then find a trusted friend to talk with. If you don’t talk it out, you will take it out. You will take it out on your family, your co-workers, your wife or husband because hurt kept inside grows resentment and bitterness. You will not find any closure on past hurts without disclosure.

Communicating with God about your hurts allows Him to bring healing and enables you to forgive. It was refreshing this week to hear of a family who forgave a woman who caused tragedy by drinking and driving. Their daughter was killed needlessly but they dealt with hurt by forgiving.  Hurt people – hurt people but forgiving people bring help and hope to people. Choose to be forgiving!

Capital "A" Confession

by Kim Hogue

Maybe it’s because I regularly talk with Christ-followers and not-Christ-followers that live condemned or ashamed. Maybe it’s because a recent conversation caused my deeper reflection on confession and my Catholic roots.

But one confession still comes to my mind today; I remember a time when I was a little girl, 9 yrs. old, with six children in our family and one working parent. There were not a lot of frills, but mom had one prized possession, her dining room table. It was a special table to her and to us. I think it was special because of the way it was treated. We were always careful pulling the chairs out making sure not to drag the legs across the floor, everyone had their own place around it, and extra attention was given to every setting, everything in its proper place. Sitting around that table was almost magical, the talk of everyone’s day and the laughter shared around that table are forever etched in my fondest memories.

But one day something happened to that table. My mother was setting all its places when she found a very large capital “A” carved in to its dark, polished wood. I remember being lined-up like all the children from the movie “Sound of Music” and Captain VonTrapp (my mother) wanted to know who the culprit was! No one fessed-up, can’t say I blame them, the death penalty seemed imminent!

Forward two years later, I’m 11 yrs. old, our youngest sister Colleen is 7 and making her first confession. She enters the little booth, pulls the curtain shut and begins in strangely enough, a very loud voice, I mean she is loud! Everyone in the church can hear her! She starts in the Catholic way, “Bless me Father for I have sinned, aloooong time ago I carved a capital “A” in my mom’s table!” It was out! We finally knew who the woodcarver was! My mother’s knuckles turned white clenching the pew in front of us. Me and my other sister Kelly, barely manage to keep our laughter from filling the high ceilings of the church. Mom gives us “the look” and then says, “don’t you dare tell your sister we know!” I can still see their faces, I remember the look of relief on my little sisters face as she exited the confessional, the weight of her deed lifted and the look on mom’s face, was one of my first pictures of grace. To our amazement mom never said a word. So? How much more is our Father God willing and desirous to forgive us?

Who do you need to forgive? What do you need to confess?

1John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

God's Ultimate Gift

by Tim Howard

In the early years of my marriage I did a lot of foolish things and I wasn’t a very good husband to my wife. I could blame it on youthfulness since I was only 22 years old, immaturity, stress, difficult times or I could simply acknowledge the truth. I was self absorbed and totally selfish! In 37 years of marriage we have had our share of bad times! The word divorce has crossed our minds but one word has proven to be more powerful than the desire to go our separate ways. That word is FORGIVENESS!

The Bible tells us to “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as God forgave you in Christ.” Forgiveness is the foundation for everything God does in our lives. Jesus offers forgiveness to those who choose to follow him. He offers forgiveness to those who fail and choose to do unwise things. He even offers forgiveness to the ones who hate him, choose to rebel and don’t believe He is God.

You cannot have a long lasting, growing, ongoing, in-depth, healthy relationship without forgiveness. Something will happen, your relationship with stall, something will take place, someone will do something unintentionally or intentionally, it will break down, and the relationship will end. And when it does, more often than not, forgiveness is the one thing and sometimes the only thing that will get you going again.

Forgiveness cuts the cords to the past and gives you the possibility of a bright future. It’s one of the top five tools you need in your toolbox in order to maintain a growing relationship. Un-forgiveness locks a person into the past and provides a great environment for bitterness, resentment, hatred and anger to flourish but forgiveness is the key that sets you free.

The issue of un-forgiveness or forgiveness comes into play and becomes prominent when we experience hurt. Everybody hurts! We hurt physically. We have our cuts, scratches, bumps and our bruises. We hurt emotionally. That's a little more hidden and may be more difficult to deal with than physical pain. Fear, worry, anger, guilt, shame and depression are all expressions of emotional pain. We hurt relationally. The most difficult type of hurt to deal with is the hurt that's caused by other people. When this happens forgiveness is one of the best tools we can use to bring about healing and restoration.

It seems natural to become angry and un-forgiving, however. Have you noticed how easy it is to get angry and stay mad for long periods of time when you’ve been hurt by another person? Have you recognized how easy it is to nurse a grudge and how difficult is it to offer grace and mercy? If you keep putting wood on the fire by focusing on the negative, playing the DVD of past hurts over and over again, the fires of hate will continue to burn brightly.

Forgiveness is definitely not the easiest choice to make but it is the best! Holding a grudge, getting even, remaining bitter and choosing to walk in resentment may feel good and right for a season but it will ultimately destroy you. These remedies don’t work and only make things worse.

God demonstrated His love toward us by offering forgiveness through Jesus Christ. He is our example for the relationships we have with each other. As you work your way through the month of December and celebrate the Christmas season remember that forgiveness is the ultimate gift to give someone. It will be more valuable than any material item you could purchase.