An Ode to Dad

by Andrew Cromwell

Fathers, it is sad to say, seem to be an increasingly rare species. Oh, there’s plenty of men who have contributed to the existence of the next generation, but to be a “father” requires much more than that. And if fathers are a rare species, it can feel like good fathers are unicorns — fantastic, mythical and conspicuously absent.

And, I have to be honest, the way fathers are often portrayed on TV and in the movies — often absent, at worst abusive, at best mildly comical and totally powerless — gives us a sense that dads aren’t all that important. And, we all know plenty of people who didn’t have dads that have turned out to be wonderful people. So we might be tempted to believe the “traditional” view of dads is outdated and unnecessary. 

If we have come to that conclusion, we are sorely wrong.

Study after study reminds us of the importance of fathers. Today in our country, 1 in 3 children live in biological-absent father homes. 90% of all runaways are from fatherless homes. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. 85% of children who show behavior disorders, 71% of high school dropouts, and 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. And the list goes on.

Dads are a big deal. 

I not only had a father but I had a GREAT father. And while I would never want this column to digress into a smackdown contest of “my dad is better than your dad”, in the spirit of Father’s Day, I would like to offer this description of fatherhood that we might all strive for (and that my dad did pretty darn well on).

A great dad captures the heart of his kids. It’s not terribly hard to control your kids’ behavior, what is much more challenging is to win over their heart. But if you get their heart, you also get their behavior. My dad was more interested in the motives of my heart than he was on just what I did with my hands or said with my mouth. While my actions were very important, he realized that everything flows from the heart (Luke 6:45).

A great dad knows the value of time (Ephesians 5:16). Parenting is such a challenge because while you know that every moment is important, most days you just feel like you can barely make it through the day (especially when the kids are little). But a great dad pushes through the fatigue and the selfishness and spends time with his kids. My dad understood the words of encouragement he spoke when we were small echoed into the future and formed destinies of success and beauty for his children. He recognized the minutes spent being interested in what his kids were interested in were investments that would pay long-term dividends.

A great dad puts God first (Proverbs 3:6). Great dads have their priorities straight and they have a correct perspective. Nothing else can substitute for a dad who puts the Greatest Father first and foremost in his life. My dad knew Father God. He went to Him first when he didn’t have the answers. He chose to look at his children and at all people through the eyes of the Father — eyes that always saw the value in people. He knew true strength was not found by forcing his way, but rather by yielding his heart to the King. 

Thanks dad for leading the way and giving me a model for strong fatherhood. I’m seeking to follow your example and put God first, know the value of time well spent and capture my kids’ hearts. 

Shooting Up Christmas

by Blake Cromwell

Christmas morning was ruined. In utter disbelief, my parents surveyed the damage my brothers and I had created. It might not have been so bad had my parents not planned to sell the house just after Christmas.

As I viewed the hundreds of tiny holes in the sheet rock of my bedroom wall I realized Christmas Dinner wouldn’t be pleasant for any of us. At the not so tender age of ten, it was certainly going to be the worse Christmas of my life. Now Dad was sending us to his room to lay over his bed and wait for you know what.

As I lay waiting, I rehearsed the morning’s events. My brothers and I had awakened very early that Christmas morn to quietly whisk our Christmas gifts out from under the tree and creep back to our rooms for closer inspection.

With great joy, we unwrapped three of the most beautiful Red Ryder BB guns you ever did see. Just weeks earlier our dad had told us that BB guns would make fine gifts since we would be moving to Hanford just after Christmas. Year after long year we had begged for BB guns only to hear that LA wasn’t a good place for them. We ripped them from their thick, protective cardboard packaging and hoisted them into the air in triumph —three “Great White Hunters.” Discovering that the BBs served as that year’s stocking stuffers, we commenced to fill our rifle chambers.

To be honest, I don’t remember whose idea it was to set the remains of the cardboard packaging against our bedroom wall for target practice, but I am very sure that once discovered, I told Dad that it had been my brother, Steve. He was the oldest and still to this day I blame him because I can’t face the fact that I was just so stupid. Stupid, to think those boxes would stop a BB. We lined up all three boxes side by side and began to blast away with glee. It wasn’t until we were almost out of BBs that Dad appeared.

As Dad moved one of the targets to reveal the damaged wall I could feel the tears begin to flow. We really did feel bad because we knew that we had let Dad and Mom down. Dad never did spank us that morning, but he told us something that has stayed with me to this day. He told us that he forgave us and that he would fix the problem. That ten-year old boy just couldn’t see how the wall could ever be fixed. For the next week, every morning I awoke to see the results of my actions on the bedroom wall. But Dad was true to his word. Within two weeks the old sheet rock was removed and replaced. The wall was painted over and all evidence of that terrible Christmas morning had vanished.

That sight was a better Christmas gift then my BB gun. It showed me that a bad situation could be turned around. All one needed was the help of someone like my dad.

All these years later I have found that in the Bible we have a Father who will help us in our hour of need, just like my dad did that Christmas. The Bible refers to God as “Father” hundreds of times. In one place Scripture declares, “If you, as earthly fathers, who are imperfect, know how to give good gifts to your children how much more will your Father in heaven give the help of the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him.”

At ten I didn’t understand how my dad could fix that wall, but he told me he could and he did. Now at fifty I still don’t know how God can fix some problems I get myself into but He has promised to answer when I call. If you are facing difficulties, even impossible situations, why don’t you call out to your Father in heaven to help you. Romans 8:28 declares, “We know that all things work together for good to them that love God.” One version of the Bible quotes this verse like this, “That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives is worked into something good because we love God.”

During this Christmas Season the Pastors in the Kings County would love to tell you how much your Heavenly Father loves you and that He can work something good out of a bad situation. We want you to know God’s greatest gift to you is His Son Jesus.