Advice for Father

by Tim Howard

Happy Fathers day to all the dads! 

Fathers have a tremendous influence in the lives of their children and God designed it that way. A dad’s actions speak loudly and his words carry tremendous weight when they are guarded and guided by time-tested truth. A father, however, who chooses to be an absentee dad, for whatever reason weakens the very fabric that stabilizes the family unit.

A word of wisdom comes from a man named Moses. He was adopted by a wealthy family but after being reunited with his family of origin and becoming a father himself, he said these words to all future dads: Deut. 4:9 “… be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children.” 

Great fathers can’t afford to live by this motto: “Do as I say and not as I do.” If you are going to teach something that’s worth accepting and following then be careful to follow your own advice. When someone isn’t practicing what he or she preaches – It’s noticeable.

Make sure to watch over your own lifestyle and choices in order to impact your family because teaching children is more than conveying information. You teach what you know but you reproduce who you are.

A second word of advice is a proverb and even though there is no guarantee, there is a promise. King Solomon said: Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will remember it. Kids are not always going to follow good advice but if they choose to stray, the training received from childhood can greatly help them get back on track.

When kids find themselves lost or stuck in the difficulties of life, they won’t know what to do or where to go if a moral compass hasn’t been planted within them. Parents and fathers especially have a great opportunity to plant this moral compass by training their children in the ways of the Lord. Don’t merely tell your kids what to do, coach them and show them. It takes more time to train than tell but it is worth it in the long run.

A third and final word of advice to fathers comes from the New Testament. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger…”

As a father myself, I unknowingly provoked my kids at times but learned some things along the way that’s helped me change. A dad can provoke his children to the point of frustration and anger if he chooses to dictate everything and discuss nothing! Making his view the right and only view will also infuriate kids. Trying to fix your children without really listening to them or making ‘Dad’s’ rules more important than relationships doesn’t help very much either.

Dads! As we celebrate Fathers this weekend, remember the advice God gives in His Word. It will make a good father into a great father.

May you have a Happy Fathers Day this Weekend!

An Ode to Dad

by Andrew Cromwell

Fathers, it is sad to say, seem to be an increasingly rare species. Oh, there’s plenty of men who have contributed to the existence of the next generation, but to be a “father” requires much more than that. And if fathers are a rare species, it can feel like good fathers are unicorns — fantastic, mythical and conspicuously absent.

And, I have to be honest, the way fathers are often portrayed on TV and in the movies — often absent, at worst abusive, at best mildly comical and totally powerless — gives us a sense that dads aren’t all that important. And, we all know plenty of people who didn’t have dads that have turned out to be wonderful people. So we might be tempted to believe the “traditional” view of dads is outdated and unnecessary. 

If we have come to that conclusion, we are sorely wrong.

Study after study reminds us of the importance of fathers. Today in our country, 1 in 3 children live in biological-absent father homes. 90% of all runaways are from fatherless homes. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. 85% of children who show behavior disorders, 71% of high school dropouts, and 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. And the list goes on.

Dads are a big deal. 

I not only had a father but I had a GREAT father. And while I would never want this column to digress into a smackdown contest of “my dad is better than your dad”, in the spirit of Father’s Day, I would like to offer this description of fatherhood that we might all strive for (and that my dad did pretty darn well on).

A great dad captures the heart of his kids. It’s not terribly hard to control your kids’ behavior, what is much more challenging is to win over their heart. But if you get their heart, you also get their behavior. My dad was more interested in the motives of my heart than he was on just what I did with my hands or said with my mouth. While my actions were very important, he realized that everything flows from the heart (Luke 6:45).

A great dad knows the value of time (Ephesians 5:16). Parenting is such a challenge because while you know that every moment is important, most days you just feel like you can barely make it through the day (especially when the kids are little). But a great dad pushes through the fatigue and the selfishness and spends time with his kids. My dad understood the words of encouragement he spoke when we were small echoed into the future and formed destinies of success and beauty for his children. He recognized the minutes spent being interested in what his kids were interested in were investments that would pay long-term dividends.

A great dad puts God first (Proverbs 3:6). Great dads have their priorities straight and they have a correct perspective. Nothing else can substitute for a dad who puts the Greatest Father first and foremost in his life. My dad knew Father God. He went to Him first when he didn’t have the answers. He chose to look at his children and at all people through the eyes of the Father — eyes that always saw the value in people. He knew true strength was not found by forcing his way, but rather by yielding his heart to the King. 

Thanks dad for leading the way and giving me a model for strong fatherhood. I’m seeking to follow your example and put God first, know the value of time well spent and capture my kids’ hearts. 

Advice for Fathers

by Tim Howard

The Bible gives some great advice for all fathers in all places. Fathers have a tremendous influence in the lives of their children and God designed it that way. A father who chooses to be an absentee dad, for whatever reason weakens the very fabric that stabilizes the family unit. A dad’s actions speak loudly and his words carry tremendous weight when they are guarded and guided by time-tested truth.

A first word of advice comes from a man named Moses. He was adopted by a wealthy family but after being reunited with his family of origin and becoming a father himself, said these words to all future dads: Deut. 4:9 “… be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

Great fathers can’t afford to live by this motto: “Do as I say and not as I do.” If you are going to teach something that’s worth accepting and following then be careful to follow your own advice. Kids can spot a phony and when someone isn’t practicing what they preach – It’s noticeable.

Make sure, Moses says, to watch over your own lifestyle and choices in order to impact your family because teaching children is more than conveying information.

You don’t merely pass on information but teach the experiences God has used to shape your life. You teach what you know but you reproduce who you are.

 Train up a child in the way he or she should go and when old age comes he or she will not lose sight of it. A second word of advice from King Solomon is a proverb and even though there is no guarantee, there is a promise. Kids are not always going to follow good advice but if they choose to stray, the training received from childhood can help greatly.

 When kids find themselves lost or stuck in the difficulties of life, they won’t know what to do or where to go if a moral compass hasn’t been planted within them. Parents and fathers especially have a great opportunity to plant this moral compass by training their children in the ways of the Lord. Don’t merely tell your kids what to do, coach them show them. It takes more time to train rather than tell but it is worth it in the long run.

A third word of advice to fathers comes from the New Testament. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger…”

As a father myself I unknowingly provoked my kids at times but learned some things along the way that’s helped me change. A dad can provoke his children to the point of frustration and anger if he chooses to dictate everything and discuss nothing! Making his view the right and only view will surely infuriate kids. Trying to fix your children without really listening to them or making ‘Dad’s’ rules more important than relationships doesn’t help very much either.

Dads! As we celebrate Fathers this weekend, remember the advice God gives in his Word. It will make a good father into a great father.