Self Talk

by Tim Howard

Do you talk to yourself? You don’t have to fib, be embarrassed or hide the fact because all of us do a fair amount of self-talk. People might think we are crazy when they see us moving our lips as if speaking to someone nearby but I don’t think we’re unhinged. At least not all of us!

Truth be told: I even argue with myself and have been guilty of berating myself to some degree when there’s a failure to live up to my standards. I’ve learned, self-talk can be very helpful but it can also cause a lot of unnecessary pain if it’s not monitored.

King David talked to himself when he experienced a season of depression. In his discouragement and despondency, his conversation went something like this:

Psa. 42:5 Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God—soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.

When you talk to yourself it’s wise to speak truth!

Secular psychology says the key to health is to get in touch with your feelings. If you are angry, sad, hurt, discouraged etc. then vent your feelings.  Get them out.  Unleash them. But that's not enough because feelings are not always true.  The Bible doesn’t encourage us to ignore our feelings but challenges us to get in touch with the truth.  Getting in touch with your feelings is one thing but it's the truth that sets you free. 

When feelings become our focus and are allowed to drown out the facts, our self-talk will move us in the wrong direction.

The truest thing that will ever be spoken about you is what God says. For David, his feelings said: Everything is terrible. There’s no way out, I might as well give up. Elijah had a similar experience to David and it’s recorded in 1 Kings 19. The only difference is he expressed his emotions while David spoke the truth.

Elijah said: Life is terrible, I’ve had enough, I want to die. I’m the only one left. That self-talk ensconced and catapulted him into a deeper depression.

David, however, spoke the truth to himself. I may be feeling down, it may be difficult, the darkness may seem impenetrable but if I call on God, he will help. This season will pass. I will see the sun in the near future and my face will once again exhibit a smile. Why? Because God is on my side.

The results? He built a staircase out of the cellar while Elijah dug a deeper hole. David wasn’t doing an exercise in positive thought and talk. He was speaking the truth – about God and about himself. 

Be encouraged to monitor your self-talk. Check out what is being said and see if it is fact or feeling.  Ask God to help you stop the damning, degrading and damaging talk that goes on in your mind. Ask him to help you change the way you think and talk to yourself. It will make for a path that gets brighter and brighter. Proverbs 4:18

Smile, You'll Feel Better

by Andrew Cromwell

It is amazing how our outside affects our inside. I’m not talking about what is going on around you, but instead what you are doing with your face. Too many people walk around with a sour expression, looking as if they like to suck on lemons for fun.

All of us know that there is a correlation between facial expression and what is going on inside. If someone is sad, depressed or just generally having a bad day, then nine times out of ten their face will show it. If they are feeling happy, then their face is bright, their eyes light up and when they smile they look like they have more teeth than the average person. We take this for granted -- what is inside is generally reflected on the outside.

What we forget is that sometimes, the best way to get out of feeling sad, is to make our face do the opposite of what we are feeling. Instead of walking around with a long face, you decide to put a smile on. Of course it helps immensely if you also stop focusing on the negatives and instead focus on the positives.

I did this just the other day when I was feeling glum. I realized that I had been pretty much focusing on all the reasons why I was justified to feel sad and sorry for myself. My face was expressionless at best and pouty at worst. The more I brooded the worse I felt and the nastier my face got.

Then I asked myself what good this was doing. It wasn’t going to change anything and it certainly wasn’t winning me any points with my family. So I gave myself a little talkin’ to and decided to stop focusing on all the reasons why I was justified to feel bad, and instead start focusing on what I could do to change my situation. I started with putting a smile on.

At first, my smile was forced and looked more like a snarl, but I kept trying. I even did my best to make my eyes sparkle! Suddenly, I found that it was easier to think good thoughts and my smile was less forced. And as I thought more good thoughts, I smiled more and before I knew it, my smile was not forced at all and my heart was happy.

Studies show that when you smile -- even if you’re faking it, the muscles that your smile is connected to begin to release endorphins into your bloodstream which makes you feel better. So this is not just a nice thought, it’s good science. Oh, and it’s spiritual too. The Bible says, “A merry heart does good like a medicine.” It’s almost as if God knows what He’s talking about!

The pastors in Kings County would love to help you discover how to bring the joy back into your life. Why don’t you give them a chance this weekend?