Just Say 'Hi'

by Sylvia Gaston

Two years ago, I became the proud owner of a shiny, new, white Jeep Wrangler. I’ve always wanted a Jeep. Now that I had entered a phase of family life where I no longer transported mass quantities of children and because my well-worn and dearly loved SUV was in its last days, I was finally able to buy one.

As I drove home, excited about our new purchase, I became aware that I had also unknowingly become the member of a “club” I never asked to join – a Jeep-owners club.

This club doesn’t hold meetings. We don’t even know each other. We just wave to each other on the road whenever we pass one another.

I’m sure there must be other similar “clubs”. When my husband owned his Harley, I noticed motorcycle riders would acknowledge each other on the road. Are there others? I don’t know. Do Corvette-, PT Cruiser-, VW-, or Prius-owners have such a “club”? I wonder.

The realization of this “club” sunk in as I drove home and saw one after another fellow Jeep owner wave to me. My internal reaction was “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”. I don’t want to do this! I don’t want to HAVE to wave to people every time I drive my Jeep somewhere. So, I thought, “Well, I just won’t do it” then. So, for a very short time, I didn’t. But, as others waved and passed me by, I felt guilty about acting like such a snot by not simply waving.  Now I’m a waver and I am astounded by why some Jeep-owners can’t be bothered to simply wave. We’re just saying ‘hi’!

Another example of ‘just saying hi’ happened last year as I walked with my kids at their high school Back to School Night. We passed another student that my daughter had played softball with for years beginning at 8 years old. As I greeted her, I noticed that they passed one another in the hallway without any acknowledgment.

I asked my daughter about this later and she told me that they’re not really friends now.  I argued that they still knew each other and had a history with one another.  I was informed that, in high school, things like that didn’t matter. I was shocked that they would just ignore one another and, deep down, I wanted to chastise them both to ‘just say hi”!

 As I reflected on this, I remembered years ago when my family and I first began attending our church. We didn’t know many people there. We walked in, said hi to the “official” greeters and took our seats. When we left, we did just that – we left.

Flash forward six years and I find myself on that same church’s staff, wearing a nametag on Sundays. I’m now saying ‘hi’ to everyone I pass in the lobby, the hallway, the parking lot. Why didn’t I do that before? Did that insignificant little nametag give me permission to ‘just say hi’?

What gives you permission to speak to others? Do you ‘just say hi’ to strangers as you pass someone on the sidewalk, in the store aisle, at the gas station? Why not? Saying hi is simply acknowledging “I’m a human. You’re a human. Hi there, fellow human.” Do you need an insignificant little nametag to do so?

We live in a small-ish town where our culture lends itself to friendliness and familiarity. What’s the worst that could happen if you said hi to a stranger in town? Insult? Injury? Death? No! The absolute worst thing that could happen is the other person just doesn’t respond. That would be their loss, not yours.

In the Bible, the Apostle Paul tells us to “Let mutual love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.” Hebrews 13:1

Come on people. Let’s make our corner of the world a little friendlier. Let’s change the culture around us just as Jesus did. Just say hi. It’s a small thing that can change the very environment around you. 

While you’re at it, if you don’t currently belong to a church, why not pop into one of the many great churches we have in Kings County and ‘just say hi’ to others there and to God Himself?

The Power of Words

by Tim Howard

I grew up in a family of 7 children. When you add a father and a mother to the mix you have a full house. I believe all of us kids felt loved but none of us can remember our father ever saying the words: “ I Love You!”

One of the greatest ways to show care, concern and compassion is by speaking to each other in love and that means more than saying those three little words – ‘I Love You.’ According to Ephesians 4:15 – The Apostle Paul declares: “…speak the truth in love so that we will grow up and look like Christ...”

Speaking is the ‘means’ – Love is the ‘mode’ and truth is the ‘message.’ When you combine these three elements an atmosphere is created, which enables a person to grow up, mature and become the individual he or she was meant to be.

Of course there are many ways of conveying love but words are among the best! Actions may speak louder than words but they aren’t intended to be a substitute for words. It’s not one or the other  - it’s both – Show and Tell! When you show evidence of your concern and then express it through words – love becomes powerful!

A word of encouragement from a teacher to a child can change his or her life. A word of encouragement from a spouse can save a marriage. A word of understanding can help a person grow in wisdom and someone who speaks a word of hope can break the spirit of depression.

Words have power! They can destroy or build up. They can bring life or death – heal or hurt – devastate or shape a person’s attitude.

When someone speaks out bitterness and resentment he or she hurts people and when you add a little dab of anger, plus a little dose of hatred you have an explosive combination.  The type that devastates!

On the other hand, when someone speaks a comforting word, an encouraging word or an uplifting word to a person – joy is released, hope is realized and their experience is positive.

James 3:2 -10 “…If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you’d have a perfect person, in perfect control of life. A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! 

It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. This is scary: You can tame a tiger but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on.” MSG

Don’t believe the old adage: 'Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me' because it’s not true.

Close Your Mouth

by Andrew Cromwell

Don’t you love it when you put your foot in your mouth? If you have ever asked a woman how far along she was in her pregnancy only to discover that she wasn’t pregnant to begin with, then you know what that feels like! Or maybe your problem is you just say too much. What starts out as a run-of-the-mill conversation about the weather with the stranger standing in the elevator next to you, turns into a detailed description of your last medical procedure. Of course, some of us find ourselves saying WAY too much whenever we get angry. The moment we feel that our rights have been violated in some way, we launch into a tirade and rip the offender to shreds.

My mom has a wonderful way to describe this tendency that people have. She calls is "diarrhea of the mouth". Just like the real thing, this condition stinks and makes a mess. Without getting too graphic, when someone has this condition they leave a lingering odor that tends to permeate everything. When it is all said and done, someone has to clean up the mess.

But there is a simple solution. Stop running your mouth. Think before you speak. Say half of what you want (especially when your words are motivated by frustration or anger). The Bible has a lot to say about the power of words. Proverbs says that even a foolish person seems wise when he keeps his mouth shut!

Proverbs 10:19 says that when there are a lot of words, we can’t help but get ourselves into trouble! Proverbs 18:21 says that words can either kill or give life, it’s up to us what kind we serve up. James says that the tongue is the most powerful muscle in the body, even though it is one of the smallest. It has the power to steer your whole life! Through the power of the tongue we can either invite heaven or hell into our life and home.

What’s the state of your mouth? Do you find yourself spewing out too many words and leaving wounded people behind you wherever you go? Take a moment and review the impact you have on those around you, maybe it’s time to make some adjustments.

Those who study public relations tell us that it takes seven positive stories to counteract one negative one. I think it is the same with words. One damaging word is not erased by one positive word. The destructive force of words that burn, bite and tear down often seem to have greater impact than those that build, encourage and bless. That is why it is so important for us to speak words of life ALWAYS!

We need to speak encouragement into our kids and into our spouse. That person checking us out at the store? They need encouragement too. What about that tech person we try to understand when we call customer service? They’re a person too and our words can bless them (how often do we do that?).