S.H.U.P.

by Tim Howard

We live in a society where certain words are acceptable and others are not! The standard is difficult to ascertain because some people say certain things with no ramifications while others can say the same thing and bring about great consternation and wrath. Go figure!

One such word in our household growing up was the word – or should I say two words – ‘Shut Up!’ My parents didn’t like that expression for ‘whatever’ reason so we were creative – We came up with the word: ‘S.H.U.P” – Need I give an explanation as to the meaning?” Be quiet, be silent, hush, stop talking, close your trap or in essence – ‘Shut Up!’

Sometimes loving people is more poignant when you remain silent and do nothing.

When I think about loving people I think of doing something! It’s more than words – it’s actions as well. Love is a verb but there is another side of love that is often overlooked.

This type of love is not focused on what is done but what isn’t done. If truth is told, God’s great love is revealed as powerfully and wonderfully through the silence as well as the spoken.

Quite some time ago I was driving on a three-lane street at approximately 5:30 am. It was still dark and in front of me was a car going the speed limit and another car behind me that happened to be a Police car. We were all in the far right lane when all of a sudden – with no notice – no blinkers and no warning, the automobile in the lead crossed all lanes to make a left turn. There was no real danger since the other lanes were open but it was totally illegal. As I proceeded ahead I noticed the Police car pulling to a stop to watch the other vehicle for several moments.

Evidently the Police officer decided to extend mercy because no ticket was issued and no fines were assessed. Immediately I thought to myself – Those people who made that illegal turn just experienced love, grace and mercy but weren’t even aware of it. The Police officer had the right to give a ticket. He or she had the authority to demand payment for the wrong but chose to be quiet – to remain silent – to do nothing.
  
Maybe you bite your tongue so you won’t lash out or you remain quiet when you are being criticized. You could force an issue but rather than putting fuel on the fire you choose to let it go and remain silent – just like that Police officer.

Proverbs 26:20 “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases.” NIV

James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, NIV
   
Ecclesiastes. 3:7 There is “A time to be silent and a time to speak…”

Yes, love is a verb and it is something you do and say. It is also, however, revealed when you are silent.

Psalms 19:1-4 “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. NIV

Maybe we all need to do more listening and less talking. Do you need to S.H.U.P?

The Power of Words

by Tim Howard

I grew up in a family of 7 children. When you add a father and a mother to the mix you have a full house. I believe all of us kids felt loved but none of us can remember our father ever saying the words: “ I Love You!”

One of the greatest ways to show care, concern and compassion is by speaking to each other in love and that means more than saying those three little words – ‘I Love You.’ According to Ephesians 4:15 – The Apostle Paul declares: “…speak the truth in love so that we will grow up and look like Christ...”

Speaking is the ‘means’ – Love is the ‘mode’ and truth is the ‘message.’ When you combine these three elements an atmosphere is created, which enables a person to grow up, mature and become the individual he or she was meant to be.

Of course there are many ways of conveying love but words are among the best! Actions may speak louder than words but they aren’t intended to be a substitute for words. It’s not one or the other  - it’s both – Show and Tell! When you show evidence of your concern and then express it through words – love becomes powerful!

A word of encouragement from a teacher to a child can change his or her life. A word of encouragement from a spouse can save a marriage. A word of understanding can help a person grow in wisdom and someone who speaks a word of hope can break the spirit of depression.

Words have power! They can destroy or build up. They can bring life or death – heal or hurt – devastate or shape a person’s attitude.

When someone speaks out bitterness and resentment he or she hurts people and when you add a little dab of anger, plus a little dose of hatred you have an explosive combination.  The type that devastates!

On the other hand, when someone speaks a comforting word, an encouraging word or an uplifting word to a person – joy is released, hope is realized and their experience is positive.

James 3:2 -10 “…If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you’d have a perfect person, in perfect control of life. A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! 

It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. This is scary: You can tame a tiger but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on.” MSG

Don’t believe the old adage: 'Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me' because it’s not true.

Love Does

by Tim Howard 

Today is Valentines Day and we just finished helping our grandson fill out his cards for his friends. Maybe you can remember some of the Valentine cards you received back in grammar school days?  The ones that said: “Be Mine,” “You’re Cute” or “Be My Valentine.” Giving cards is a great way for kids to express love, kindness and affection in a lighthearted way. 

St. Valentine's Day is an annual holiday that celebrates the importance of friendships on every level and is named after one or more early Christian martyrs named Valentine. If you were to describe this day with one word, many people would use the word LOVE. 

Today you will hear three words spoken thousands of times wherever Valentine’s Day is celebrated. The words are: “I Love You.” It won’t stop there, however. This day will cause thousands of cards to be purchased, dozens of flowers will be given away, millions of people will be kissed and a wide variety of gifts will be exchanged. Why? Because LOVE DOES!

Love is a verb and is activated when it does certain things and doesn’t do other things. Paul the Apostle in 1 Corinthians 13 says: If you really love someone on any level there are some things you will do and other things you won’t do. He actually gives 9 descriptions of what Love doesn’t do and 7 illustrations of what Love does.

The truth he’s conveying in that chapter is simple.  Love doesn’t remain silent. It speaks but it’s more than words. It helps, it shares, it shows itself and it gives. You can give without love but you can’t love without giving because love is an action verb – and ‘does.’

God wants you to find true love on every level. He’s willing to teach you about the different kinds of love and how to love people as He loves people. The love of emotion is based on a desire but the love of devotion is based upon a decision. Every time a mother decides to change a baby’s diaper, even though she has no desire to do so, she exercises true love.

Whenever you decide to sacrifice something for the benefit of another by putting their needs before your desires, you express true love. Lasting love is a decision that does something positive.

Loving people is as simple as the ABC’s. The ABC’s of love will teach us how to love people as you can see in this partial list.

A   ACCEPT people as they are.
B   BELIEVE people are valuable.
C   CARE for the people who hurt.
D   DESIRE what is best for them.
E   ENCOURAGE those who are discouraged.
F   FORGIVE everyone of every offense.
G   GIVE individuals a higher priority than yourself.
H   HELP those in need.
I   INVEST in those you meet.
J   JOIN people in their journey.
K   KEEP and open mind.
L   LOVE God first so you can learn how to love people.

Space doesn’t allow for A through Z but you get the idea. Love will not stand back and remain in the shadows. It will not withhold something that is needed. It can’t because Love Does!

The Power of Words

by Tim Howard

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit. NIV

Shut Up! You're no good! You're lazy! You're stupid! YEAH I’M TALKING TO YOU! You will never make it! What is wrong with you? You’re too old! No one wants you! You're ugly! Get away from me! I am sorry you were ever born! I should have never married you! You're crazy! You’re a loser!

Before you stop reading this article and think I’m a jerk – Please know, there are a lot of people whose relationship with God and relationship with others is highly affected for the worst because they have listened to and believed the wrong words.

Your life right now is the composite of words spoken to you or by you. The words you have listened to and believed – and the words you have spoken to others with conviction have set the direction of your life.

The nursery rhyme “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never harm me” may sound cute but it’s simply not true. Words affect the mind, the emotions the attitude and alter a person’s behavior.

Psalms 33:6 "By the Word of the Lord the heavens were made and all the host of them by the breadth of His mouth."

He spoke light, darkness, the moon, the sun, the trees and all we see into being by a spoken word. God demonstrates the power of words through His creation and the same power is revealed through the words you choose to declare to others.

The way you speak and the words you use, creates an atmosphere that brings life or death to those who hear. If you change the words you listen to – change the words you speak to others – you can change the world you live in.

Words carry an unseen power that brings about seen results! You can literally see a person’s behavior and countenance brighten up when you speak edifying and complimentary words to them. The opposite can be seen when negative and derogatory words are spoken.

Your words set the course of your life towards destiny or destruction.

Listen to James 3:5-10 “A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it. It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell. This is scary: You can tame a tiger but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! My friends, this can’t go on. MSG

The Israelites grumbled, complained, murmured, blamed and accused others for their problems, which led to their destruction. Their words caused them to be stuck in the wilderness for 40 years. They couldn’t hear the words coming from their own mouths.  It was their negative words, fueled by a hardened heart that restricted them from experiencing life to its fullness.

David had good reason to give this command: Psa. 34:13 “…Guard your tongue.”

Your Words Matter

by Tim Howard

How many of you know somebody who seems to complain all of the time? Are you that person? Admit it, all of us complain about some things but some people seem to complain about everything.

The weather's too hot, the weather’s too cold, the service at the local fast food restaurant is too slow. These stop lights take forever; for crying out loud this person is driving 10 mph below the speed limit! I’m sure you have heard them.

Some people complain about their jobs while others complain about not having a job. Some complain about not having enough time to do all that needs to be done while some complain about having nothing to do at all. There is ALWAYS something to complain about.

If there's one group of people who were known for complaining more than any other in the Bible, it has to be the Israelites in the Old Testament. If you know their story, it's an interesting one. They were slaves, in bondage to the Egyptians and they had one prayer: 'God, get us out.' And God answered their prayer, raised up a leader named Moses and did what they asked. Within three days, however, they were complaining. Here’s the record.

Ex. 15:22-24  “Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea, and they went out into the wilderness of Shur. They went three days in the wilderness and came to a place named Marah… but they could not drink the waters of Marah for they were bitter… So the people grumbled at Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?” This account started a pattern of complaining that went on and on and on…

What they didn’t know and what many of us don’t realize is just how significant our words can be. What you put on your lips can open doors or close them.

God’s disposition changed toward the Israelites when they constantly complained. They closed the door on his favor and opened the door for his chastisement. His love for them remained the same but His propensity to bless them was altered. Just like a parent who wants to bless their child with gifts but because of his or her incessant complaining the parent decides to withhold the blessing in order to train the child in thankfulness.

Words put on our tongues are powerful. St. James tells us they are like a fire, which can heat things up in a positive way or set things on fire from hell. Solomon said death and life are in the power of the tongue…

In 2012 I’ve committed myself to living out Philippians 2:14, “Do everything without complaining or arguing…” How can this become a reality?

1. Ask God to purify your heart because the fruit of what you say is connected to the root, which is in your heart attitude.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others because it is often the source for your complaints.

3. Focus on the things that really matter in life. Much of what we complain about won’t matter down the road. The material world will fade away but relationships with God and others will outlast time.

4. Ask God to help you become aware of it when you do it. Often it is so ingrained into our subconscious that we often complain without realizing it.

Here’s a truth. There is ALWAYS something to complain about. Yet, there is also ALWAYS something for which you can give praise. Choose to fill your mouth with praise. You will make a positive difference in those around you!

You Said What?

by Tim Howard

I made some comments the other day, which caused a host of problems. I regretted the words spoken, but it was too late! It was like writing an e-mail to someone and then pressing that dreaded ‘send’ button without proofreading the text. You can’t take it back, it’s already gone and all you can do is wait to see what happens.

The fiasco I created reminded me of the truth found in James 3:2-6: “We all make many mistakes, but those who control their tongues can also control themselves in every other way. We can make a large horse turn around and go wherever we want by means of a small bit in its mouth. And a tiny rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot wants it to go, even though the winds are strong. So also, the tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. And the tongue is a flame of fire…” NLT.

A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that! By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation and send the whole world up in smoke because we started a fire that comes from the pit of hell.

This is a bit scary wouldn’t you say? You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue—it's never been done. The tongue runs wild. With our tongues we bless God our Father and then with the same tongues we curse the very men and women He made in His image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth! WOW! This shouldn’t be happening.

Back in the day, a comedian named, Flip Wilson, often said: “What you see is what you get.” It’s also accurate to say: “What you say is what you get.”

What you say has the authority to open doors for tomorrow’s troubles or triumphs! Many people have been influenced and swayed throughout history both positively and negatively by the use of words. There is a tremendous force released when you speak! The words you declare actually have the power to produce an atmosphere of life for people to enjoy or create a morbid gloom that results in death. Proverbs 18:21 makes this truth verifiable.

The Israelites witnessed this fact in the Old Testament when the twelve spies returned from a reconnaissance. Ten of them gave a bad report while the other two remained true to what God had told them and spoke His words to the people. The results were devastating. A whole generation missed out on their inheritance because they listened to the words of the majority. As in this case, we often discover the majority isn’t always right.

It’s no wonder David said in Psalms 141:3 “Set a guard over my mouth Oh Lord and keep watch over the door of my lips”. Or why James said in chapter 1 of his book “My dear brothers and sisters be quick to listen and slow to speak…”

If your mouth has gotten you into trouble in the past, you might want to try to be more like David and ask God to put a filtering system on your tongue because only He can tame it. And try to listen more and talk less - or at least think more before you speak. It just might guard you from those loose-lipped comments that can cause a fiasco.