Speak Life

by Sylvia Gaston

Now that we are well into 2016…how are you doing on that New Year’s resolution you made? I don’t usually make resolutions, but this year I set a goal for myself – to speak life into my family.

Life can be so negative and difficult at times - for children and adults alike. We all face challenges and trials in every day life. Sometimes other people can begin to beat us down, intentionally or unintentionally.  Every single one of us can use someone in our life that will build us up, encourage us, and tell us positive things about ourselves that will make it easier for us to continue on.

So how can we be the person that builds up and speaks life into our loved ones?

First, ask yourself, “Who?” Do you have young ones at home? A spouse? Do you have teenagers? How about adult children? Grandchildren? Nieces/nephews? Parents? Siblings? Godchildren? These are the people that God has given you to care for.

We all have a unique sphere of influence – people that only we can pour into. Loved ones whose lives we can positively effect.

For example, only I can be a wife to my husband. Only I can be a mother to my children. Likewise, you are unique to many people in your life. You have the power and the ability to speak life into them. So at the beginning of 2016 I made a conscious decision to speak life into their lives on a frequent basis.

There is great power in our words – power to tear down and the power to build up. The Bible says it like this in Proverbs 15:4 - a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit but the tongue that brings healing is a tree of life.

How do you use the power of your words to speak life? It will probably look different based on your family dynamics.

For me, it looks like this: I pick at least one of my loved ones each day and pour into them. I might tell my teenage daughter or son that they are a good friend or how much I love their personality. I try to remember to encourage my husband as the provider and the head of our family. I might text my adult son that he’s doing a great job as a father to his 2-year-old and newborn. I try to let my college kid know that I’m proud of her efforts at work and school.

There are a number of ways to use the positive power of your words: by phone, text or email. Send a card or letter to those near or far.  But the sweetest way, by far, is in person. When you are with someone dear to you – find a way to let them know how special and precious they are. Once you start looking for uplifting things to say about them, you’ll be surprised at how wonderful they are and how much they really mean to you. They need to hear this.

Do I forget to do this every day? Yes. But remember, it’s not a resolution – it’s a goal. I do know that I am speaking life into my family more than I ever have in the past. That’s a step in the right direction.  That is who I want to be and who God has chosen me to be.

And one day, after I’m gone, I hope that my family will recall fondly a mom/wife/sister/daughter/aunt who poured into them, encouraged them and spoke positive words of life into them. I also hope and pray to leave behind a family that will, in turn, learn to speak life to those that they care about most.

So, I say – forget that New Year’s resolution and set a goal…think about the legacy you can leave – it’s never too late – to begin to speak life!

To Be Continued

by Tim Howard

The older I get the more I think about death! It’s not a subject I dwell upon but it does cross my mind from time to time – since I am closer to death than birth. 
        
When I was a senior in High School – my mother became ill and none of us were prepared for her death. That was a difficult season for the whole family and especially hard for a teenager like myself.  Even though the doctors did everything within their power – she succumbed to the battle of cancer. Gwendolyn Howard died in the year of 1969 at the age of 52 years.

If you have ever had a close friend or family member ‘pass on’ then you know the myriad of emotions that make you feel like you’re on a rollercoaster.  At times you may experience deep pain because of the loss and shed many tears. A feeling of disbelief and denial may overcome you because it seems so surreal and then out of nowhere, a sense of great joy arises because you realize how special that person has been to you. 

Emotions are powerful and very real. Even Jesus wept when His good friend Lazarus died. Something emotionally stirred within Him that revealed how much He loved this man.

Death even goes beyond the physical – It signifies the end of a season!  

It happens whenever something comes to a conclusion. When your marriage ends in divorce, when your vocation or occupation comes to a screeching halt or when a child leaves home to begin a new season apart from the parents! When things like this happen – fear can set in and if allowed to grow unchecked, life becomes a struggle; ‘letting go’ becomes very difficult and a blindness to truth can ensue.

Experiences like this can be so emotionally packed that a person may lose sight of the fact – there is life after death! From Christ’s perspective – The end is not the end… It is the beginning of a new season.

Maybe that’s why Jesus said in John 14:1-3, “Don’t be troubled (afraid).  You trust God – now trust in me.  There are many rooms in my Father’s home, and I am going to prepare a place for you.  If this were not so, I would tell you plainly. When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.” 

Simply stated: If you are connected to Jesus in an ongoing relationship – you don’t need to be troubled or ruled by fear when death – of any kind – knocks on your door. Why? Because it’s not ‘The End’ – It is: ‘To Be Continued’…

Jesus has prepared a good future for all those who love Him. The future is not unknown – It is certain.  He has a plan for you and it is a good plan. Even when you fee like you’ve reached end of your rope in a relationship or possibly you’re involved in a dead-end career. Maybe voices keep telling you it’s over – But God has the final word! He says: TO BE CONTINUED…

The Bible talks about Eternal life. A life that doesn’t end – even at the point of physical death! When the words – at the end of a television program say: “to be continued…” one might experience frustration but for the Christian who experiences death in any form – those same words stimulate faith, confidence and hope.

5 Ways to Improve Your Life

by Andrew Cromwell

If you’ve spent any time on social media sites recently, you know one of the most popular ways to write articles these days is to make them some kind of list. Whether it’s “Ten Things You Didn’t Know About Peanut Butter and Jelly” or “45 Uses for Egg Yolks that Will Change Your Life”, these articles somehow get us to click on them by promising us life-changing information. Here is my contribution to this oft-repeated genre in the hopes that you will not only “click” but that your life will in fact be changed for the better as you apply the information.

Proverbs is this incredible book of the Bible that contains incredible wisdom for daily living in bite sized pieces. In its pages you find keys for healthy relationships, an enduring love life (including a healthy sex life), and how to succeed in business among many other topics. In chapter three the author gives us six keys to having a long life filled with “peace and prosperity.” Everyone I know wants that kind of life!

Here’s how you get it:

1.    Don’t forget the essentials! The very first key to living the good life is never forgetting the essentials. Just like oreos without milk, life without the right playbook just ain't right! The Bible is that instruction manual for life handed down to us from holy men and women that walked closely with God. It describes to us the way we should live and tells us what things will destroy us and what things will build us up. It’s not enough just to know about the Bible, or even to know the Bible, the key is to actually live differently. That is what not forgetting actually means. It doesn’t do any good to know that the oil in your car needs to be changed every 3,000 miles unless you actually do it!


2.    Be kind and trustworthy to everyone. Do you want a good reputation? Would you like to be respected by others? In short, would you like people to like you? Stop being mean and stop making promises you don’t keep! Far too often we make the mistake of thinking the way to get respect is to demand it. Nope. The best way to get respect is to give it. Be the kind of person that people are attracted to -- and everyone is attracted to someone who is kind, considerate and does what they say they are going to do.

3.    Stay away from bad stuff. We underestimate what clean living can do for the entire course of our lives. We all know how it works. First, we’re curious, then we dabble, then we become fascinated, then obsessed and before you know it we’re hooked and we can’t get away. We do our best to keep things separated so that the “bad stuff” doesn’t interfere with the “good stuff” but we can only keep the plates spinning for a little while before it all comes crashing down.

4.    Give back to God. Every day we make choices of how to spend our money. We pay the mortgage or rent, we pay the credit card bill, we go out to dinner and the movies, and so much more. If we’re not careful, we find that every dime that we spend is on us and our family. There is something incredible that happens when we choose to give a part of what we earn to God. It requires us to prioritize and it reminds us that we are not first -- He is. Don’t underestimate the power in that practically, but it also does something spiritually as well because it opens the door for God to go to work in the area of our finances (and some of us really need that!).

5.    Take it on the chin. Like any good parent, God too sometimes needs to set us straight. When my children start to behave in a way that is going to result in damage to themselves or someone else, I step in. They don’t generally like it, but it saves them from hurt. And on the rare occasions when they recognize that they have done wrong and they actually receive the correction instead of resisting it, they move from just being punished to actually learning something. When God corrects us, He does it because He loves us. Stop being mad at Him for trying to help you out!

Living by these five principles has the power to change your life. Check out Proverbs 3 for yourself and see the other incredible wisdom you can find.

Ups and Downs

by Tim Howard

My wife and I were in Ogden Utah last week doing a leadership seminar when we celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary. The people who know me think my wife must be a Saint for putting up with me for so long. I agree!

If you ask me how long I have been married I would say: “Not long enough!” Donna is the greatest gift anyone could receive.

It was February 16, 1973 when I spoke these words to my wife.  “ I, Tim Howard take you Donna to be my wife – to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse.  I promise to love you the same way Jesus loves me.  I promise to support you, cherish you, respect you, and be faithful to only you for as long as we both shall live.”

I was 22 at the time and didn’t fully understand the meaning of that phrase ‘for better or for worse’.  After all these years, however, I now have a clue.

We’ve had our share of bad times!  We have both thought about quitting.  The word divorce has crossed our minds and when we thought it couldn’t get much worse, it did!

It’s laughable now but it was painful then.  Maybe you have had some bad times in your marriage or possibly you are in a difficult season right now.  I want you to know, your bad times don’t have to destroy you. When God is allowed to work – They can develop you.

Life is not just about growing up!  To succeed in life you must grow down as well.  Trees that grow high will not stand against the winds of time unless they have deep roots.  God uses the ‘worse’ times – the ‘down’ times to develop a deep root system in your life.  These roots will keep you from crumbling under adversity. 

Paul the Apostle conveys this truth in the New Testament.  Romans 5:3-5, “We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they are good for us—they help us learn to endure.  And endurance develops strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident expectation of salvation.  And this expectation will not disappoint us…”

Here are five decisions that can change a ‘down’ into an ‘up.’

1.  Never Quit!  When things get tough, don’t stop doing the little things that made your marriage wonderful.  Remember, long before a divorce is ever finalized, someone quit doing the right things.

2.  Look for the gold in each other and don’t focus on the dirt. No one finds gold without going through some dirt and no one finds gold if they focus on the dirt.

3.  Love from your heart and not only from the emotions. In the ‘worse’ times, you need to decide to love your mate even though you may not like them.  Love is a decision. 

4.  Don’t hide things from each other. Psalm 32 tells how devastating this is.

5.  Make God and His desire your first priority.  When He is first, things fall into place.  Check out Matthew 6:33 and discover God’s promise to you. 

I am very thankful we have experienced far more of the ‘up’ years than ‘down.’ When God is involved the ‘Ups’ make the ‘Downs – worth it.

Cursing the Darkness

by Andrew Cromwell

Recently I was reminded at how frequently I default into “cursing” mode. No, not the hammer your thumb, four-letter kind of cursing mode, but rather the kind where you look around at the state of the world and can see only what is bad and broken and start complaining. If you’re at all like me, it doesn’t take much to put you there. Fifteen minutes of TV news will do it. So will virtually any conversation about politics and the state of our political system. Of course, there is the tried and true conversation about the same old things at work that still don’t work the way they should.

Whenever we are confronted with the brokenness of the world, it is so easy to just start to moan and groan. We complain that it should be different. We lament how things just seem to be getting worse and worse. We repeat the same old phrases about how it used to be better in the good old days. We blame society. We blame kids. We blame the teachers. We blame the system.

They call this cursing the darkness. The last time I checked, cursing the darkness doesn’t do much good. If every time I walk into my garage I stub my toe, and then spend all the time I’m in the garage (and out of the garage), talking about how it should be different, what good will that do? I need to turn on a light (or move the toe-stubbing object somewhere else!).

If you’re unhappy with your marriage, don’t complain about it, do something. If you’re unhappy with your political leaders, don’t complain about it, do something! And if you’re unhappy with the school system, the kids today, or the situation in the city or county, do something! And contrary to popular opinion, complaining is not doing something.

Turn on a light! And if there’s not a light to turn on, install one! Carry one with you. Determine to be the kind of person that adds light to every situation, instead of just cursing the darkness.

Jesus said, “let your light shine before men so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven” Light-people are lifters – they lift situations out of the muck and mire and make them beautiful.

What kind of person are you? Are you a complainer or are you a light-giver? Are you shining light or are you cursing the darkness? We need some more light-people up in here!

A Place to Rest

by Tim Howard

Insomnia is defined as habitual sleeplessness, according to the dictionary. 

A person experiencing this condition is incapable of finding true rest. 

The reasons for restlessness abound!  The threat of global recession, continuing wars, famines, natural disasters, incurable diseases, personal crisis, family challenges and future uncertainty are all contributing factors.

When this happens, certain consequences ensue: People may start arguing with others, do sub-par work, be less loving and more irritable with children and friends.  It’s hard to live in peace when you have no rest.

The Bible tells us in Hebrews chapter 4 that there is a way to find true rest.  This rest is defined as a ‘peace from God’ that will allow you to sleep all night long and have pleasant dreams.  Check out what Paul the Apostle says in Philippians 4:7.  He tells us that this peace defies logic because it’s not connected to external things.  You can be in the middle of a raging storm and still sleep like a baby.  Mark 4:38 records a time when Jesus did it and so can you.

To enter and experience this rest, however, some key decisions must be made regarding your past and future.  Worrying about your past and fretting about your future will contribute greatly to sleeplessness.  This happens because you were not created to live in the past or the future but in the PRESENT.  Rest and peace are available only to those who live in the present and seek God NOW!

Many people, however, choose to live in the past.  They will not leave the past hurts, the slights, the pain, the problems, the misunderstandings, the grudges, and the resentments. They choose to rehearse the past rather than release it.  They have pretty much identified themselves as victims.  Their past begins to infect their present rather than affect it in a positive way. May I suggest that you cannot change the past!  It is gone forever, so why focus on that which cannot be changed?   Jesus wants you to focus on what can be changed.  It’s no surprise that Isaiah 43:18 tells us: “Do not be obsessed with the former things or continually focus on the things of the past.”

Regarding the future, Jesus said these words in Matthew 6:34 …do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Worry will rob you of rest today and catapult you into the uncertainty of the future. What you do today is extremely important. Your decisions will actually shape your tomorrows and release God’s peace. You can determine right now that – the rest of your days will be the best of your days.

Whether you are struggling with the past or the future, God wants to give you rest. Trusting Him for a bright tomorrow is the antidote to worry. He can use your past to strengthen your future and bless your present. Let’s get rid of our yesterdays and make room for our tomorrows by finding a place of rest as you put your trust in God.

Dr. Spouse

by Andrew Cromwell

According to the statistics, most people will marry at some point in their life and the vast majority of people prefer being paired up with someone else versus living single. Of course, what is often ironic about that fact is that one of the more frequent questions we ask ourselves once we do get married is, “what was I thinking?” The old adage, “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them” seems to apply all too frequently.

We are wired for relationships -- God built it into our DNA. We can’t get around it. And there is something deeply satisfying when we find that sweet spot in a marriage relationship where we are able to love and be loved and do life together. Almost all of us look at those marriages that have stood the test of time -- people married for 40, 50, and even 60 years -- and want to know, “How did they do it?”

And while there are exceptions, most of these long term marriages seem to have figured out a secret and all of us who would desire that kind of success, desperately want to know what that secret is. How do we make it through the ups and downs of life and still find the other person fascinating?

The answer, or at least one of the answers, to this question, as is often the case, is incredibly simple to understand but will take a lifetime to master. If you want to make it work with your spouse in a way that is magical, then you have to be willing to be a lifetime learner. You have to become a student of your spouse. You have to be willing to study them so well, that you become a Ph.D. in the subject of that singular person that you are married to.

More often than not, marriages fail, not because two people are incompatible, but because they are unwilling. They are unwilling to do the difficult work of figuring each other out. And what is worse, they assume that once they have “figured out their spouse”, they can rest easy. This is a problem because people keep changing throughout the course of their life -- they are not fixed subjects that can be put under glass and studied with a microscope. Rather, they are living, breathing entities that are constantly changing and adjusting. Becoming an expert in this kind of subject takes a lot of time, energy, and effort.

I enjoy watching nature documentaries about exotic animals that are difficult to find. Creatures that only come out at night or live in the remotest of places. Animals that are so rare that sometimes they are thought to be extinct. To capture footage of such creatures is an incredible feat. The camera crew, often just a single individual, must be willing to put in hours of patient study, frequently in extremely difficult conditions, just to get a few seconds of material. And yet they are pleased to wait because they consider the animal worth it.

If only we would be so patient with our spouses! All too often, we are unwilling to wait, unwilling to put in the time, unwilling to go through the difficult conditions to capture the opportunity to truly “see” them. People don’t reveal their inner secrets easily. Real intimacy comes at a price, but often we are unwilling to pay. But for those that pay the price, they get understanding. And with understanding comes great benefits.

So the next time you are frustrated with your spouse and are contemplating throwing in the towel, maybe first you need to ask yourself, “have I really put in the time and effort?” Do I really have a Ph.D. in this subject or have I settled for something less? Am I still a student and a lifetime learner or have I become bored and complacent?

It might be time to pick up the books again! Your spouse is one of the most fascinating people on the planet -- or have you forgotten?