What Every Kid Needs

by Sylvia Gaston

Hot off the heels of Vacation Bible School and Father’s Day brings a flood of observations and thoughts about what a kid really needs.

Surrounded by hundreds of kids this past two weeks makes me realize how we underestimate the importance of a solid adult in a kid’s life.

Before you even learn their story, it’s easy to identify a kid in foster care or a kid with parents who are not really present or a kid who wishes he had a dad in his life. They are missing something. They desperately desire that thing they don’t have. This often leads them to find a way to get the attention they crave in negative or destructive ways.

In my profession, you get to know kids in this order:

• The troublesome kid
• The helpful, smart kid
• The quiet or shy kid

Early in my Children’s Ministry career, I ran across a poster that read, “The most unlovable child is the one who needs it the most.” Over the years, I have found that to be true.

All kids need a few simple things. These things cannot be bought. It isn’t elaborate trips, the latest gadgets, or the finest clothes. What kids need isn’t “things” at all but relationship.

According to Harley Rotbart, MD, parenting expert and Vice Chair Emeritus of Pediatrics at Children's Hospital Colorado, the eight things kids need to thrive are:

1. Security: Kids must feel safe and sound: shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm.
2. Stability: Stability comes from family and community. Ideally, a family remains together in a stable household, but when that's not possible, it's important to disrupt the child's life as little as possible. Kids and families should be a part of a larger community for a sense of belonging, tradition and cultural identity.
3. Consistency: Parents should synchronize their parenting and make sure important values stay consistent.
4. Emotional support: Parents' words and actions should encourage trust, respect, self-esteem and, ultimately, independence.
5. Love: Saying and showing you love your kids can overcome almost any parenting "mistakes" you might make.
6. Education: Make sure your kids get the best possible education for their future. This includes school, of course, but it also includes the invaluable life lessons you provide.
7. Positive role models: You are your kids' first and most important role model. Instill your values and teach children empathy by being the kind of person you want them to become.
8. Structure: Rules, boundaries, and limits: Without them, kids are forced to be adults before they are ready, and they lose respect for you and other adults.

I agree with Dr. Rotbart but would add two more very important things:

Time: Kids often gauge their worth by how much time they are given. It can be time spent doing the simplest of things. Time shows that you value them, love them, and like being in their company. It goes a long way in developing a strong sense of worth, sense of self, and self-esteem.

Faith: Kids need to know about God. They need to know Who created them - on purpose and for a purpose. They need to know that God loves them unconditionally and that He is their lifelong Helper through good times and bad.

You are your child’s spiritual leader. God tells us how important that is in His Word, the Bible. 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. Always remember these commands that I give you today. Be sure to teach them to your children. Talk about these commands when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road. Talk about them when you lie down and when you get up.”             Deuteronomy 6:5-7

Life is harder and more confusing for kids today than ever. We must equip them as best we can so they can thrive as children and thrive as adults. That includes equipping them to have a life with God – here on earth and after they leave this earth.

Will you always get it right? No. I’ve made more parenting mistakes than I can count. But, despite the mistakes made, I know with certainty that my kids know how much they are loved and that my husband and I will be there to support them, guide them, and pray with them through all that life throws at them.

When they make mistakes or disappoint us (and they will), we will put relationship before being right. That keeps the door open, and the conversations going, so that we have the opportunity to give the love and influence they need. 

Love is simple and it’s what every kid needs.

Making Room

by Candace Cortez

Nobody would ever confuse me for a domestic goddess. I have been known to fold laundry on my dining room table and pick articles of clothes from that very pile for a few days until the pile magically disappears. It’s ok, you have permission to judge me. I try to keep my kitchen and living room “ready for company” but I would warn any random pop in visitors to not visit some of the rooms on the edges of my house! I’m a clutter bug. I blame my overly creative brain.

However, out of the basic laws of house management, there is one area that gets cleaned out more than most: my refrigerator. Around once a week, I find myself pulling out leftovers, checking labels on bottles, and generally making sure there isn’t anything hidden in there that may scare me the following week. I pretty much can’t handle mossy foods and feel responsible to make sure my family is safe from whatever can happen after vegetables start getting slimy. Now before you start believing there is some hope for my domestic lifestyle, I must confess the primary reason I keep things clean-ish is to make sure that when I bring in fresh groceries, there is room for it all! Gathering groceries is a big enough chore, I don’t want to have to clean the fridge every time I purchase a new bundle of produce, milk, and eggs.

As we are in full swing in the holiday season, my question for you, myself, and for my family, is this: is there room for Jesus in our lives? In our hearts? I talk very regularly to my young children about how Jesus really is the main reason we have Christmas. He’s the main reason we get to have fresh beginnings, hope, and peace in this life. He’s the source of all things good, and the redeemer of all things rotten. I do not have a problem understanding these things to be true in my thought process. But is this evident by how I make space I my life to point to Him? When the Holy Spirit gently asks for me to move, is there room in my schedule to make that happen? When the Spirit of the Lord gives me something new to take care of, do I just add it to the pile of old things not taken care of in a timely manner?

One of my hopes for this season is that our community would make space in their hearts, schedules, and spirits for the Lord to do something incredibly special in their lives. There have been times when I know the Lord has asked me to wait, or give, or do something just out of the ordinary, but I didn’t make space in my schedule or my level of faith. I do believe that I may have missed out on miracles because I didn’t make space for Him to work in me and through me.

  

Here are some of the things I regularly need to evaluate and potentially get rid of in order to make room in my heart and life for the Hope of Jesus.

  

1.     Old habits. Some habits are great for life. Some habits are great for a season. Some habits are never great. Looking at the repetitive routines in your life as unfixed is important. Not everything you do has to be done. Not everything that is important right now will be important forever. For example, when my husband worked nights, I developed a habit of staying up way later than my mornings should have allowed.  This habit cut out morning devotions, morning peace, and my patience with my kids as we got ready for the day. Recently, the Lord has asked me to go to bed earlier, to make room for His presence in the mornings. Do you have a habit or choice you’re making regular that keeps you from saying yes to Jesus?

2.     Unhealthy relationships. I am very rarely pro getting rid of relationships in your life. I am, however, pro shifting what shelf of importance or influence those relationships carry in your life, and time=influence. If I am not strong enough in my walk with the Lord to overcome the negativity or yucky habits a person brings with them, then I have to decrease the influence that person has until I am more full of the Spirit.

  

3.     Lingering doubts or misunderstandings about who/how God is. Life can teach you a lot of things incorrectly. Sometimes if a child prays a prayer to the Lord, and does not receive what they ask for, they doubt the goodness or power of our Heavenly Father, and potentially stop asking for big things. It is good to keep discovering who God is, how He is and moving out the old doubts about His character. 

Make room for the Lord this holiday season. Don’t let the mold creep in. Never get too busy or full of old ways for God to hand you another blessing, another call, another bit of who He is.

480 Minutes

by Sylvia Gaston

Four hundred eighty minutes. That’s it! That’s all we have to operate with each day.

In any given 24-hour day, we are given 1440 minutes. Sleeping takes up about 480 minutes and work takes up about 480 minutes. That leaves us with a measly 480 minutes a day to live within!! Are you kidding me?

At the beginning of each year, I typically reflect on how I have spent the past year and how I plan to spend the next one. It’s a great time to think about whether or not I’m happy about the way I spent my time.  If I’m not, it’s a time to make some changes.

My friend, Gracie, recently posted this…

“So I've been thinking a lot about time. We're given only so much of it and it passes so quickly...Frankly, I'm wasting it. I spend so much time doing meaningless things. I need to step away from things that distract my attention and really, really focus on what I have and appreciate…God, my husband, my children, relationships - and just pour into them. With that being said, I've decided it’s time (lol) that social media and I break up -  maybe temporarily, maybe permanently. Not sure yet. This girl is about to go make some time count in her life.”

My best resource for wisdom in my life is God’s Word. The Bible has a lot to say about time.

Ephesians 5:15-17 says, “So, then, be careful how you live. Do not be unwise but wise, making the best use of your time because the times are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

Psalm 37:5 tells us, “Commit your way to the LORD; trust in Him, and He will act.”

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 says, “There is a season for everything, and a time for every event under heaven:  a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to uproot what was planted.”

So here I sit with 480 minutes at my disposal each day. Some of that time is used up for necessary (yet evil) things like laundry, groceries, cooking, cleaning and driving. And, if I’m being honest, some of my minutes are squandered away on television and the Internet.

In what ways are you squandering your time? Are you held hostage by social media or television or something else?

Here are some shifts in my life that I am implementing to make the best use of my 480 minutes:

• Less TV, more gym time (3-4 days a week – this is a 2-fer because I also get   to spend time with my friend and workout partner, Lee)
• Read non-fiction books in addition to the fiction that I love
• Take an online course to keep my mind sharp and my knowledge expanding
• If I add a new TV program to my DVR, I must remove one (I also do this with my closet – 1 new item in = 1 item must go)
• Once a week, work on 1 home improvement item so that they don’t stack up

But, more importantly, I am looking at everything I do – every minute I spend – verrry carefully to see if it is worth doing. Is it a waste? Is it meaningful?

Before I do any of these things, however, I am FIRST going to ask God how He wants me to spend my time. He certainly knows what’s best for me…and for you.

What are you doing with your 480 minutes? How about adding a visit to the church of your choice in there somewhere? Or set aside some daily time to pray and hear from God about how He thinks you should be spending your time?

It’s 2018, neighbors!! Go make some time count in your life!

What's Important to You?

by Sylvia Gaston

Decisions, decisions, decisions. We make thousands of them each day – big and small.

Who will care for my children should I die unexpectedly? What should I eat for dinner? Should I have a child now? Does this shirt go with these pants?

We make decisions that are significant and insignificant; important and routine; life-changing and mundane.

Some research suggests that we make a staggering 35,000 decisions a day. Children make only about 3,000. Ah, to be a child again.

How to you make your decisions? Do you give them detailed thought and time before deciding? Or are you a snap decision maker? Do you consult wise people or do online research? Do you pray before deciding?

I believe that, in order to make wise decisions, we must first decide what is really important to us. That will then dictate how much time, research, prayer should go into each one.

Is it super important to my life which gas station or brand of milk I choose? No. Is who I marry or who I become important to my life? Yes!

Here’s something to consider. What are the most important things in your life? In the grand scheme of things, what means the most to you? It isn’t necessarily the same for all. For me, it’s my husband, kids, friends, conduct/character – basically, the ones I love and why I exist.

In deciding where to spend my time and decision-making, it makes sense to dash past the unimportant and focus on the meaningful. Am I doing that? Am I spending time and building up the ones I love? Am I a good, contributing, compassionate, and giving human being? Does this make my life successful and worthwhile? (pregnant pause here)

In this culture, where we reward and revere the accomplished, the beautiful, the wealthy…are we defining success accurately? My definition of success has drastically changed in the past 15 years. I no longer crave fame, possessions, power. I long for meaning. I now desire meaningful relationships and making a positive impact on the world around me. That may not bring me worldly recognition, notoriety, and riches. But, that’s what has become the most important to me.

Once we define what’s really important, THAT’S where we need to spend our time and focus. That’s where we need to heavily weigh our decisions in the hope that we will create a life worth living.

Speaking of a life worth living, what about the most important decision of all? We must each decide where we will spend our life after this one. The Bibles tells us in John 17:3 (ESV) “And this is eternal life, that they know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”

God teaches us that this life on earth is but a mist in contrast to forever. Where will you spend forever?  THAT’S a decision on which we should all deem extremely important and spend much time, research and lot and lots of prayer. 

What’s important to you?

On Time

by Andrew Cromwell

I like things to be on time, don’t you? When I order something and I am told that it will be delivered to my doorstep in two days, it feels right when the smiling man in the brown truck shows up two days later to hand me my package. When I show up at the doctor’s office for my appointment, it makes my heart happy when they call my name at the appointed time. And when I tell my wife to be ready at 6pm so we can make it to the restaurant “on time”, I do so having set the reservation for 30 minutes later than she realizes so we won’t be late (this is purely hypothetical and I would never do such a thing and she’s never been late in her life).

Having spent some time in other countries, I have learned that not every culture is as obsessed with time as we are in the United States. Undoubtedly, we inherited some of that fixation from the British Empire which was known for the ridiculously accurate train schedules that you could set your watch by. Here if a business person tells you they have you in their appointment book for tomorrow, you expect them to show up tomorrow (and probably confirm with a text and a phone call when they’re on their way so you can be ready too and not waste a minute). But in other places in the world, time is a much less intense thing. People are not so specific about hours and minutes and they don’t anticipate that everything will happen quickly either.

In these more time generous places, if you are invited to visit at a friend’s house in the afternoon, you are welcome to drop by pretty much anytime after two in the afternoon and probably all the way until dark. In our time crunched society, the only person we give that much of a window to is the cable man (because internet and TV are more important than just about anything else to us). For the time generous, being “on time” is a very loose term that welcomes both those who are chronically early and those who are unceasingly late.

If you are anything like me, you have frequently fallen into the trap of starting to believe that just about everything in life should happen “on time.” And when it doesn’t, you get angry, frustrated, and disappointed. The problem with this is that you set yourself up to be ticked off pretty much all of the time. But when you think about it, I think you’ll realize that many of the things that we get angry about because they are late, are not necessarily late at all. It is just that we had decided we wanted things to happen more quickly than they actually did. And when our expectations were not met...we whined, complained, yelled, or whatever we did.

We carry this silly notion of time with us into every aspect of our lives. Parents become obsessed with their toddler’s development, haranguing the doctor as to whether Little Johnny is hitting all the metrics and marks. Shoppers throw fits in the grocery store when the line gets long and nobody gets on the intercom to open a new lane. And God forbid we don’t finish school, get the job, and fall in love when we should.

Truth be told, that really is a lot of it. At the end of the day, when God doesn’t do what we want Him to do “on time”, that’s when we really get mad. Or depressed. Or drunk. We throw our little fit because life didn’t happen the way we thought it should have. God didn’t heal the person we wanted Him to. He didn’t get me the job I wanted. And He won’t get my boss fired, no matter how much I pray about it. You get the idea.

The point is, maybe your and my perspective of what is on time and what is late is not all that great. Maybe it’s time we all take a chill pill and stop trying to control everything around us all the time. Because there really is Somebody that has it under control already (and He doesn’t need us to tell Him what time it is). 

In the Bible, in Galatians 4 it says, “in the fulness of time, God sent His Son.” God doesn’t make mistakes and He’s always on time — it’s just not your time and it’s certainly not my time!

Kid's Spell Love - TIME

by Roger Watson

This is a chapter title from Zig Ziglar’s book Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World.  The lazy-hazy days of summer may afford your kids with ample extra time for fun and adventure, but it doesn’t add extra hours to most parent’s calendars.My children are grown adults but I remember working full time and attending graduate school when they were young. It seemed like every spare moment was working to provide a living or studying to enhance our future.  I did not have time to invest hours of undivided attention toward them.  It did not mean my love was lacking, it meant I was busy. Can you identify with this challenge in your life?

My definition of love involves making every effort to put the needs of others above your own. Not in place of your needs, but thinking of the other person’s needs first.  In the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi he gives some sound advice, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Kids do need our time but they also have other needs that we must be aware of.

Let me give three suggestions that may help in your attempts to love your children and meet their needs:

1) Know the needs at their developmental stage. Pre-schoolers need consistency from their family to build trust, and must be given opportunities to try out their developing skills at their own pace; Elementary children must be allowed to take initiative and be praised for accomplishments they are achieving; Teenagers and Young adults are trying to discover their own identity and develop intimacy. This is not a stage for parents to neglect or fear, it’s a time you get to be a coach in their lives.  They need your active involvement.

2) Affirm their perspectives. Children of all ages need to know that their opinion matters. Find ways to validate their insights. When my children were in grade school I let them plan the vacation route we took from Hanford, CA to Spearfish, S.D. and back. It was the best road trip we ever took as a family. The action communicated their opinion mattered. And finally,

3) Verbally bless their God-given talents and abilities. Proverbs 18:21 says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Yelling at or constantly criticizing the inconveniences your children may be creating has a way of crushing their spirit and destroying their self-esteem. Investing in their talents and highlighting their strengths 
will produce dividends of joy and delight for years to come.  

So while you are trying to find those extra minutes to invest in your children to show your love, focus your energy into areas of need in their lives and make the most out of the time you do have.  And have a great summer, you need it!

Dr. Spouse

by Andrew Cromwell

According to the statistics, most people will marry at some point in their life and the vast majority of people prefer being paired up with someone else versus living single. Of course, what is often ironic about that fact is that one of the more frequent questions we ask ourselves once we do get married is, “what was I thinking?” The old adage, “Can’t live with them, can’t live without them” seems to apply all too frequently.

We are wired for relationships -- God built it into our DNA. We can’t get around it. And there is something deeply satisfying when we find that sweet spot in a marriage relationship where we are able to love and be loved and do life together. Almost all of us look at those marriages that have stood the test of time -- people married for 40, 50, and even 60 years -- and want to know, “How did they do it?”

And while there are exceptions, most of these long term marriages seem to have figured out a secret and all of us who would desire that kind of success, desperately want to know what that secret is. How do we make it through the ups and downs of life and still find the other person fascinating?

The answer, or at least one of the answers, to this question, as is often the case, is incredibly simple to understand but will take a lifetime to master. If you want to make it work with your spouse in a way that is magical, then you have to be willing to be a lifetime learner. You have to become a student of your spouse. You have to be willing to study them so well, that you become a Ph.D. in the subject of that singular person that you are married to.

More often than not, marriages fail, not because two people are incompatible, but because they are unwilling. They are unwilling to do the difficult work of figuring each other out. And what is worse, they assume that once they have “figured out their spouse”, they can rest easy. This is a problem because people keep changing throughout the course of their life -- they are not fixed subjects that can be put under glass and studied with a microscope. Rather, they are living, breathing entities that are constantly changing and adjusting. Becoming an expert in this kind of subject takes a lot of time, energy, and effort.

I enjoy watching nature documentaries about exotic animals that are difficult to find. Creatures that only come out at night or live in the remotest of places. Animals that are so rare that sometimes they are thought to be extinct. To capture footage of such creatures is an incredible feat. The camera crew, often just a single individual, must be willing to put in hours of patient study, frequently in extremely difficult conditions, just to get a few seconds of material. And yet they are pleased to wait because they consider the animal worth it.

If only we would be so patient with our spouses! All too often, we are unwilling to wait, unwilling to put in the time, unwilling to go through the difficult conditions to capture the opportunity to truly “see” them. People don’t reveal their inner secrets easily. Real intimacy comes at a price, but often we are unwilling to pay. But for those that pay the price, they get understanding. And with understanding comes great benefits.

So the next time you are frustrated with your spouse and are contemplating throwing in the towel, maybe first you need to ask yourself, “have I really put in the time and effort?” Do I really have a Ph.D. in this subject or have I settled for something less? Am I still a student and a lifetime learner or have I become bored and complacent?

It might be time to pick up the books again! Your spouse is one of the most fascinating people on the planet -- or have you forgotten?

Time

by Tim Howard

Have you ever noticed how time seems to stand still on certain occasions and then appears to move quickly on others? 

When I’m in a hurry to get to a certain destination and I’m running late – time flies by. People in my path seem to be moving slowly, which exasperates me even more because time is moving so quickly and they seem to be inching ahead at a snails pace. 

When I’m in a Doctor’s office, however, waiting for he or she to call me into the room – 50 minutes past my scheduled appointment – time moves very slowly. I look at my watch every 5 minutes thinking 15 minutes have passed – but it hasn’t.

When you turn 15 years old and look forward to obtaining your drivers license at 16 – the next 365 days seems like a thousand but when you turn 65 and look back on life you wonder – where did time go. It seemed like yesterday.

Of course time is consistent and every day has 24 hours, but regardless of the facts – time has varying effects on all of us.

Solomon said these words about time:

Eccl. 3:1  “There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:
Eccl. 3:2  A time for birth and another for death, A time to plant and another to reap, 
Eccl. 3:3  A time to kill and another to heal, A time to destroy and another to construct, 
Eccl. 3:4  A time to cry and another to laugh, A right time to lament and another to cheer, 
Eccl. 3:5  A time to make love and another to abstain, A time to embrace and another to part, 
Eccl. 3:6  A time to search and another to count your losses, A time to hold on and another to let go, 
Eccl. 3:7  A time to rip out and another to mend, A time to shut up and another to speak up, 
Eccl. 3:8  A time to love and another to hate, A time to wage war and another to make peace.

We have all been allotted a certain amount of time on this planet.  The real issue is not how slowly or how quickly it moves but what a person does with the time he or she has been given. 

According to Business Insider: “Most human beings get about 75 years of existence. That's about 3,900 weeks or 27,000 days or 648,000 hours. We spend about a third of those hours sleeping – a number that hasn't changed much over the centuries.

What has changed is what we do with the remaining time… thanks to the irrepressible inventiveness and ingenuity of humankind, we have engineered a profound shift in what we do with our waking hours… There are 168 hours in a week – 56 go to sleeping, which leaves 112 for everything else. Thanks to remarkable progress… the average work week in most countries has dropped by about 30 hours… and has freed up a lot of extra time. So what do we do with all the extra hours? We spend them watching television” According to recent figures, the average human spends about 4 hours a day, or 28 hours a week, watching television.”

Jesus used His time for the benefit of others. He decided to serve rather than be served. He lived with a specific purpose in mind and never wavered. Even though His earthly presence only lasted a little over 3 decades, the effects of His life are still being felt.  

How are you using your time?

Time Out

by Tim Howard

The passengers could hear the airline pilot over the intercom system as he interrupted the flight to say he had some good news and some bad news. He then went on to say: “The good news is that we are making very good time. The airstreams are on our side, the skies are clear and we are ahead of schedule. The bad news is – we have lost track of our destination.”

I want this item yesterday! Hurry we are late! Go faster, I will miss my appointment! It seems we are always in a rush – How can we speed things up? What lane on the freeway do I choose so I can get to my destination faster?  What line in the grocery store seems to be moving at the quickest pace? I’m always looking for the fastest way because I am the King of hurry! 

Is speed the only factor in our decision making process, however? What would happen is we took a few ‘time outs’ along the way. If it’s possible to accomplish more by doing less – maybe it’s possible to make better time by taking a few time outs!

Time outs happen when you STOP! They are not only designed for children as a means of discipline but prove to be effective in the lives of any adult who finds himself or herself running in circles and are extremely busy yet making little headway toward a designated goal.

I’ve read that the average number of times people check their cell phone is nine times in an hour. I believe that number would increase if we were talking about his or her watch. One of the most frequent questions asked in our culture is: What time is it? I suggest, however, a better question is this: How are we using our time? 

You can always get more money but you can’t get more time. We have all been allotted a certain amount of hours, days, years and you don’t have the privilege of ‘re-do’s.’ You only live life once. How are you using your time?

Moses prayed this prayer:  Psa. 90:12 “Teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” God answered this prayer by giving him a 7 day ‘Time Management’ plan that’s recorded in Exodus 20:8-10. “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God.”

He says two specific things:  

1. Remember – don’t forget to make room for Time – Outs in your life. Don’t go longer than 6 days without it.  

2. Make sure that day is different than the others. Set it apart for fulfilling God’s desires. If this happens you will be using your time wisely.

The word “Sabbath” comes from the Hebrew word Shabbat, which means “to cease, to desist, to stop, to pause. The Sabbath is a weekly ‘Time Out.’
The religious leaders of that day made three mistakes, which caused them to miss the significance of Jesus’ words when He said: “Man was not made for the Sabbath but the Sabbath was made for man.” They tried to reduce this time of rest to a specific day. They made many rules and regulations to govern that day and they turned this day into a requirement rather than a privilege.

God wants you to take a Sabbath – a Time Out because it’s good for you. It’s the rhythm of life. It’s a privilege afforded to all of us.

Living at the Margins

by Andrew Cromwell

Talk to almost anyone today and they will tell you they have no time.  Ask them why and they begin to list off all the things on their schedule — work, school, extracurricular activities (theirs and their kids’), church, extended family, service opportunities and more.  Schedules are a constant juggle and we just keep adding more.

Try to get together with someone for dinner and you’ll find yourself comparing notes and searching for an opening in an already overcrowded schedule.  Gone are the days of spur-of-the-moment activities...there is just no time. 

With a young family of my own, the time crunch is an ever-present reality.  My wife and I find ourselves fighting to protect our time and have decided that we must maintain a significant margin in our schedule. 

Why Margin is Key

Margin is space.  In a book, it is that white space on the edges of the page that surrounds the text.  On the road, we call it “the shoulder.”  Without margin, reading and driving are possible, but they become exhausting and anything but enjoyable.

Our schedules need margin too.  Sure, it is possible to live life without it, but it becomes exhausting and even dangerous.  Without strong boundaries around our schedules the joy of life begins to be lost in the race to get to the next event on the calendar.

Most importantly, margin is where the good stuff happens!  It is in the margin that we get to hear about our kids’ day at school as we sit around the dinner table, unhurried.  In the margin, we can enjoy a leisurely walk down the block with our spouse.  And it is in the margin where we are able to just hang-out with friends.

More is Not Better

Some have bought into the lie that more is better.  Others believe that saying “no” will damage their career or, even worse, disappoint their kids.  Either way, we push our schedules to the limit.  I have watched parents push their schedules and strain their marriage because they didn’t want their kids to miss out on something.  And I have watched marriages at the breaking point because someone failed to put limits on their work schedule.

Psalms 46:10 says, “be still and know that I am God.”  In this crazy, over stimulated insanely busy world we live in, we are rarely still.  We don’t have the time.  And we don’t have the time because we have forgotten the importance of margin. 

How’s Your Margin?

So, how’s your margin?  The next time you jump into the car to go to the next thing on your calendar, pause for a moment and ask God how important it really is.  Ask Him, what He thinks about your schedule and then ask yourself if you have left yourself time to actually listen to what He has to say.

An Irrecoverable Moment

by Blake Cromwell

We all have one thing in common, each day holds only twenty-four hours. On an average we sleep and rest eight hours. Our work demands at least eight hours and it takes three hours for meals and family time.

There still remains five precious hours for recreation, prayer, family time and serving others. Someone has said that the difference between one person and another lies largely in how they use those five hours.

Everyday we must look for opportunities to touch our children and community. The parent who understands how precious time is will set down the paper or turn off the TV to spend one on one time with their kids.

In his autobiography, Just as I Am, Billy Graham tells about a conversation he had with John F. Kennedy shortly after his election:

“On the way back to the Kennedy house, the president-elect stopped the car and turned to me. ‘Do you believe in the Second Coming of Jesus Christ?’ he asked.

“ ‘I most certainly do.’
“ ‘Well, does my church believe it?’
“ ‘They have it in their creeds.’
“ ‘They don’t preach it,’ he said. ‘They don’t tell us much about it. I’d like to know what you think.’
“I explained what the Bible said about Christ coming the first time, dying on the Cross, rising from the dead, and then promising that he would come back again. ‘Only then,’ I said, ‘are we going to have permanent world peace.’
“ ‘Very interesting,’ he said, looking away. ‘We’ll have to talk more about that someday.’ And he drove on.”
Several years later, the two met again, at the 1963 National Prayer Breakfast.
“I had the flu,’ Graham remembers. “After I gave my short talk, and he gave his, we walked out of the hotel to his car together, as was always our custom. At the curb, he turned to me.
“’Billy, could you ride back to the White House with me? I’d like to see you for a minute.’
“ ‘Mr. President, I’ve got a fever,’ I protested. ‘Not only am I weak, but I don’t want to give you this thing. Couldn’t we wait and talk some other time?’
“It was a cold, snowy day, and I was freezing as I stood there without my overcoat.
“ ‘Of course,’ he said graciously.”
But the two would never meet again. Later that year, Kennedy was shot dead. Graham comments, “His hesitation at the car door, and his request, haunt me still. What was on his mind? Should I have gone with him? It was an irrecoverable moment.”
“An irrecoverable moment,” what a statement. In the life of our families let us strive not to have “irrecoverable moments.” Time is ticking and eternity is in the balance for those around us. Let us make the most of the opportunities we have today.

This Sunday the Pastors in the Kings County are praying that you will come to church and that you and your family will be marked for eternity.