What’s Your Question?

by Tim Howard

When it comes to God – I have more questions than I do answers! Maybe you can identify with that as well.

According to some studies revolving around Jesus – we are told that He asked people over 300 questions, which are recorded in the New Testament. By contrast we are told that people only asked Him approximately 180 questions – also noted in the Bible.

Two published studies state that Jesus directly answered fewer than 10 of the 180 asked – which is interesting!

Could it be that many answers defy logic and wouldn’t be received if an answer were given? Possibly the difficulty is in trying to convey spiritual truth with human terminology, which depends to a greater degree upon revelation than education! Someone said: “God’s truth is better ‘caught’ than ‘taught!”

Or – Maybe there are many truth’s that need to be embraced by faith! Without faith you can’t please God and without faith you will not be able to find resolution to the myriad of questions you may ask.

The ‘why’ questions seem to be the most difficult to answer! Recently while dealing with a tragedy that happened to a personal friend – The question of WHY was voiced. Why did this happen? Why now? Why me? Why didn’t God stop this from taking place? Those are tough questions and I often find myself at a loss – looking for a good answer.

In my relationship with Jesus I too have asked – Why do You love me? Why are You so patient with me when I am so rebellious? Why do You remain faithful when I have been faithless? Why do You allow me the privilege of working with You to help people when I need so much help myself? You talk about being fair… that’s unfair… Jesus gives so much and I give so little!

The ‘what’ questions are difficult as well but at least there seems to be more resources to draw from and answers to be discovered. What do I do now since this has happened? What is the next step I must take? What books can I read to help me find direction? What people should I contact? What Church can I visit or attend? With some thought – some investigation – some time spent in study and seeking Jesus – God will reveal the path you should take – He will tell you what can be done.

The Word of God is a lamp for your feet and a light for your path according to Psalms. If you have a ‘what’ question – don’t forget to consult the Bible.

The ‘how’ questions are the practical ones! How do we approach this? How often should we do that? How in the world will this happen?

When God told Abraham that his wife would give birth to a son – He responded by asking – How shall this take place since I am 100 years old and Sarah, my wife is 90 years of age? Well it did happen and that’s history…

Bottom line:  WE ALL HAVE QUESTIONS! Why, What, Who, When, Where, How…  Some can be answered if we do our due diligence.

Others – if they are to be answered will need to be caught rather than taught and many answers will require faith. Some people put their faith in God and those who do – don’t need all the answers to their questions. 

Why? Because God knows all things – He cares for us – He wants us to succeed – He’s on our side and He will reveal whatever we need to know – when we need to know it.

Fight or Flight

by Tim Howard

Is fear good or bad? My answer to that question would be both!

There are definitely times and things that should trigger a healthy fear, which in turn should cause a person to flee the scene.  If bullets are flying around – it’s wisdom to run for cover and if you ever encounter a vicious bear on the loose – A retreat may be the best option.

The Fight-or-Flight response that resides within all of us needs to be trained because fear might be based upon a ‘perceived threat’ rather than a ‘real threat.’ When this happens we may run when we should stand our ground or vice-versa, we may stand firm and remain steadfast when we should hightail it for a safe place.

Discernment is the key!

Knowing what to do in any given situation is not always as easy as it sounds!

I recently had our staff take an ‘Active Shooter’ class presented by our wonderful Sheriff’s Department in Kings County, which gave us wisdom and insight on knowing when to run and when to fight. One key point we gleaned was: ‘To have this discernment, one must be governed by something higher than fear.’

When the army of Israel was running and hiding from Goliath because of fear – David, the first King of Israel stood firm against insurmountable odds because of his faith in God.

Faith in God is the antidote to fear. Jesus drew the connection between fear and faith when He said: “ Why are you afraid – oh you of little faith.” In other words: If you are governed by great fear, you will have little faith but if you are governed by great faith you will have little fear.

Fear has to be broken – It must not be allowed to rule because it is shortsighted. Like our emotions – fears are valid but they don’t provide a good foundation for good decisions

David said: “I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears.” Ps 34:4 David refused to allow his fears to trump his faith. If a person follows his example – he or she will not act upon what they want to do when fear comes but what God wants them to do.

Fear Not – is a phrase used upwards to 150 times in the Bible and it admonishes all of us to break the power of fear. The author of Hebrews tells us that Jesus came to break fear’s hold on us so we could rise up in faith.

I wonder if any of you, who are reading this article are living a life founded upon fear – running from things when you should be standing firm. Are there any ‘Pink Elephants’ in your life that you aren’t focusing on because you fear what might happen if you actually expose it for what it really is? Is it fear that causes you to procrastinate, ignore or even deny the reality of some aspect in your life? If so:

Don’t allow fear to be your guide throughout life – Fear will too often cause you to run when you should stand and if you are running you’re probably looking for a place to hide.

I encourage you to make the decision I made years ago. 

I will rise up in faith today and in all my days and in all my ways I will seek the Lord. If you make that decision: Faith will supersede fear and you will have the discernment needed when fear knocks on your door.

In Marriage, Communication is Key

by Andrew Cromwell 

As a pastor, I do my fair share of counseling, both with couples that are preparing to get married and with those who have already crossed that golden threshold into nuptial bliss. Without fail, every couple I meet with says they need to improve their communication skills. To you, dear reader, I have no doubt this is not a novel piece of information. For all of us, when it comes to those we spend the most time with, those we have committed our lives and hearts to, these are the ones with whom we often are the most challenged in the area of our communication.

The sad thing is that instead of getting better at communicating over the years of marriage, what we often do is simply reinforce our bad communication habits. We fight about the same old things in the same old unsuccessful ways. Our positions become so entrenched and so immovable that we no longer fight about the issue. Instead, whenever we begin to get close to the landmine that is the issue, we are distracted by all the barbed wire, camouflage netting and machine guns that are our past arguments, bitterness and judgments. 

We've all seen the couples on TV who are asked to practice assertive communication and active listening. The memorable ones go horribly wrong. The wife says, "When you don't come home from work until after 9pm every night, I feel like you don't love me." The husband replies, "I heard you say that you hate my work and you think I don't love you." We all cringe slightly because we know that is not what the wife said, but at the same time we all wonder how much our own arguments are just the same.

Building new communication skills and breaking through old communication patterns is not easy, but then again nothing worth anything in life is easy. You and your spouse may have come to a place where you have forged an uneasy peace and in order to move forward in your relationship, things are actually going to have to get uglier before they get better. You are going to have to face issues that are uncomfortable and even explosive, but if you are committed to walk through it together then you can come out on the other side with greater intimacy and a stronger relationship.

If you want to see your relationship grow, I would suggest you do the following: First, talk with your spouse and agree together that you are going to seek a stronger, deeper relationship. Second, get some help! Take a marriage class, go to a marriage retreat or seek some counseling. For example, at Koinonia, we have a marriage class called Building a Successful Marriage. There are so many good resources available around us, but we often starve our relationship while surrounded by a wealth of resources. Third, work, work, work! Your marriage is worth it!

Show Me The Way!

 by Tim Howard

This weekend we are hosting an Emerging Leadership Seminar to discuss the importance of Leadership.

Good leaders tell lost people where to go.

Great leaders show lost people where to go.

Have you ever been en route to a specific destination only to discover you were lost?  Not only lost but late as well?

You can almost feel your blood pressure rising as your emotions begin to fluctuate and your intellect reminds you this is an extremely important appointment so being late is not a positive option.

One time a Pastor friend of mine named Ron lost his way as he was trying to find a small country church where he had been invited to speak.

He left the hotel room with plenty of time to spare but ended up lost anyway. Even though it was humbling for him to admit he needed some help, he decided to stop at the first country store – to ask directions.

A man named Karl; the proprietor of Karl’s Feed & Fuel gave him these directions: “First you take Rural Route 18 -- that’s this road here -- go south to the big red barn with black trim. Black trim and not white! The white-trimmed house is the old Wilkerson place and you don’t want to go that way, trust me”. Ron nodded to acknowledge he was listening. “Anyway” Karl went on, “after you get to the barn, head due east on Brier road until you hit Clear Creek, which you follow North -- maybe two, three miles till you get to the big aluminum grain silo. That’s Earl Simmons’ place. Turn north – follow that a mile or so -- winds around a good bit -- and then turn left where you see the big herd of Guernsey cows”…

To Ron’s surprise after being totally confused by the litany of directions, a man interrupted the conversation and said: “Pardon me, my name is Lyle. Didn’t mean to listen in, but I happen to be going that way and if you want to get into your car and follow me – I will show you the way.

When you lose your way in life – and we all do at times – It’s wonderful to have someone show you the way!

In Matthew 4:19, Jesus told those who were lost and needed direction for their lives to follow Him. He didn’t just tell them where to go and what to do, He actually led them and showed them the way.

That type of leadership simplifies everything. All we need to do is follow:

I’ve been following Jesus for over 5 decades and I’ve discovered over and over again that I will arrive at the appropriate destination and at the appropriate time if I simply walk in His shadow. Why? Because He knows the way!

Believe it or not, God has already been in your and my future. Psalms 139 makes it clear that He “goes before us.” He charts a path for us – He knows where we should stop, when we need to rest and the best route for the journey.

Don’t settle for only acquiring knowledge and information about God when you have the privilege of really getting to know Him personally.

If you are ever lost and need directions He will show you the way!

Life in Balance

by Andrew Cromwell

These days is seems the new most popular phrase in the business and government sector is that things need to be “sustainable.” Well, that and “resilient” but we’ll save resilience for another article. The dictionary definition of sustainable is simply, “able to be maintained at a certain rate or level.”

It’s a simple concept and applies in almost every area of life. If you are a runner, you know that you have to run at a pace that is sustainable if you are going to finish the race. If you set a pace that is too fast for the length of run, then you will exhaust your energy before you get to the finish line. If you are a lumberjack (or a lumber company), you know that if you cut down more trees than you have land and time to regrow trees, then you will be out of business. And if you are a farmer, you know that you can’t plant more land than you have water to irrigate—it’s not sustainable.

We talk about sustainable business practices. Sustainable water usage. Sustainable environmental policies. Sustainable government spending.

And it’s a good thing! If you pump more water out of the ground than the rain can replenish, then the water table drops and your crops (or you) die. If you overfish the ocean, then you or your children won’t enjoy the incredible variety of seafood we enjoy today. And if you chop down all the forests and jungles, then we’ll burn up sooner than later.

All of these examples are based on the assumption that the world is made up of interconnected systems that are directly affected by how much is pumped, fished, or harvested. For the system to remain healthy, it has to stay balanced. But that doesn’t mean that the system shouldn’t be stressed or challenged. It is very possible to harm the system by not taking enough out of the system, just as much as it is by taking too much out of the system.

For example, the US Forestry service has recognized that some of their policies for forest management have been based on a faulty model that assumes that the way to keep the forest system balanced is to minimize the amount of forest fires. The result has been that in many places the forest has actually become less healthy as a result. Fires that would normally have thinned out the forest and allowed for healthy new growth, have been prevented so forests have become overcrowded and increasingly susceptible to disease and insect attack. As the rangers have recognized this mistake, they are now either starting controlled burns or allowing fires to naturally burn out.

So what’s the point you may ask?

Well here it is. You are also caught in this interconnected web of systems. You as an individual are an organism that must live in balance. You must live life at a pace and in a way that is sustainable. If you don’t, you will become overworked, underproductive, and unhealthy.

This means that you can’t take out more than you put in. This is not only true of things like food—if you don’t eat enough calories to offset the amount of energy expended (which might be a good idea for a while), you will eventually become sick and die of starvation. It is also true of emotional and spiritual food. If you don’t spend enough time caring for your soul and always give out to your spouse, your children, your family and your friends, then you will eventually become sick.

On the flipside, if you don’t ever stress yourself and give of yourself to others, work hard to achieve goals, and generally stretch yourself, then you’ll get sick too. You’ll end up fat and lazy. You’ll run out of energy and you’ll stop enjoying life.

The key is a healthy balance.

So what are you doing to care for your spirit, your soul, and your body? Are you feeding yourself in these three areas? Your spirit needs to connect with Father God. Your soul needs healthy doses of truth, silence and forgiveness. And your body needs some exercise and healthy food. If you don’t put enough in then you’re going to be sick.

Maybe that’s part of your problem!

Who's There?

by Tim Howard

What parent hasn’t played the Knock-Knock game with their children? Come on dad! Come on mom!

Remember:

Knock-knock. Who’s there? Canoe! Canoe who? Canoe come out and play with me today?

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Moo! Moo Who?. Make up your mind – Are you a cow or an owl? 

Knock-knock. Who’s there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you!

                                                                                                         

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s just me.

Need I go on? I’m sure you get the picture! One evening at 8:30 pm I heard someone knock on our front door.  As I sat in my chair, I began to wonder who was there – only it wasn’t a game.

Was it someone selling magazines; was it someone wanting to steam clean my carpets or maybe a young child trying to sell candy bars for a school project? The only way to find out for sure was to open the door and invite them in but before opening the door I asked the question: ‘Who’s There?”

The author of Revelation – in the Bible, uses figurative language in chapter 3 when he tells us that God is standing at our door and knocking. He says: “If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me.”

I can understand why a person would not want to answer the door when someone comes knocking - because more often than not, their desire revolves around themselves and not you.

But what if the person who is knocking on your door has your best interest in mind?

Maybe he or she is knocking to say the windows in your car are down and it’s raining.

Maybe they want to drop of some freshly made tamales for you to enjoy or maybe the person is from Reader’s Digest and wants to inform you that you are the grand prizewinner of the sweepstakes?  Wouldn’t you run to the door and open it?

God doesn’t knock on your door to take anything from you because He already has everything! He doesn’t need what you have!  He knocks on your door because you need what He has!

He knocks because He wants to develop a relationship and share His wealth with you. When you open the door to Jesus, you begin a two-way relationship.  He eats with you and you get to eat with Him.

In 1973 a song called, Knockin' on Heaven's Door, was written and performed by Bob Dylan. It was about a sheriff who had been fatally shot and as he neared death - he began to knock on heaven’s door.

The good news is that you don’t need to be near death or die before developing a relationship with God. He’s reaching out to you right now. But you do need to open the door and invite Him in.

Even though it was 8:30 p.m., I did open the door and invited the couple inside. They declined the offer because it was late but they did give us a delicious loaf of Pumpkin bread –My favorite – because they loved us. Needless to say… I enjoyed the treat! – Great Neighbors!  I was glad I opened the door? 

Don’t miss what God has in store for you.  Open the door to Jesus and invite Him in.  You won’t be disappointed!

Knock-knock! Who’s there? Jesus. Jesus Who? Jesus your Savior… And that’s no joke!

Who Are You Talking To?

by Sylvia Gaston

So much tragedy surrounds us – in our towns and in our country. We lost a community leader to suicide last week, there are natural disasters occurring and racial tensions all around us. You might also be experiencing a personal crisis or challenge at home, school or work.

Where do you turn when you need answers? Who are you talking to?

Usually, our first instinct is to turn to those closest to us – a spouse, a friend or co-worker. We discuss the burning issue and seek input and wisdom. But what if they have none? What if they feel as helpless as you do?

It becomes even more important to us to have answers when others look to us for direction, wisdom, and leadership. What do you say to your kids, spouse or friend when they ask you to help them make sense out of nonsense or chaos?

Who do you talk to?

You can talk to someone who cares very much about your circumstances. You can talk to someone who can provide wisdom and comfort. You can talk to the One who created you and me and this world and everything in it…God.

You may argue, “Why would I talk to God, who allows bad things to happen?”.  But, you see, God did not create our world to be like this. He created us to love and to love Him. God created us with free will and sometimes we choose wrong. To live in a world without evil and wrong would be to live in a world without personal choice. We have invited evil into the once perfect world that He created. In doing so, we live in a fallen world, east of Eden. Paradise has been lost.

But, He is still the wisdom and comfort we need. He can give us comfort and strength to make it through life’s hardships. He can give you peace in place of worry and faith in place of fear.

Jesus said, “Don’t be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me.” (John 14:1)

Talk to Him. You don’t need to have the words of priests nor the vocabulary of professors. Prayer merely requires a humble heart. Prayer is a conversation with God. He knows you and is longing to hear from you – either out loud or silently. He hears you and you can hear from Him – perhaps not in an audible way but definitely in your heart and mind. You just have to start talking and listening to learn what His voice sounds like inside you.

Where to start? How about with, “Hi, God. It’s me. Here’s what is on my mind. Can you help me out?” or “God, would you please help the hurting families?” or “God, can you show me what I’m supposed to do?”.

He hears you. He loves you. And there will come a day when God “will wipe away every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death, sadness, crying, or pain.” (Revelation 21:3) for those who are with Him in heaven. It starts with a conversation.

Who are you talking to?