Dropped Signal

by Andrew Cromwell

People are a lot like cell phones...they are constantly searching for connection. Inside your cell phone is a little chip that demands to be connected to a cell tower and it is always searching, searching, searching to get the best connection possible. You and I are just like that, we have a deep need inside of us for connection. Of course, it’s not a cell tower that we are seeking, but rather the connection of a real relationship.

Instead of bars that indicate signal strength, our connection indicator is a little more subtle. More often than not, we can tell how strong our connection is by paying attention to our inner world. How are we feeling? Is that black hole of depression or anxiety threatening to swallow us alive or do we feel secure and fulfilled?

Often things can be going very well on the outside. We might even wonder why we feel this way when nothing is wrong in our life. But on the inside we feel numb or hopeless or helpless. This is when we begin to search for ways to compensate for what is going on inside. What we are really doing is trying to find something to either substitute or numb the pain from a lack of connection with others. So we act out by returning to our addiction of choice. It might be overeating, a temporary escape into an empty sexual relationship, alcohol or some risky behavior that gives us an adrenaline rush and covers up the pain.

All of these behaviors are attempts to compensate for lack of connection with others. And they are all lousy substitutes. There is something about connecting with another human being that actually changes the way that we feel. It is amazing what happens when we open up to others and let them know what is going on inside.

I am not suggesting that when you share your inner life with someone else that they will give you an answer and this will solve all of your troubles. Instead, what I am saying is that by simply sharing your inner thoughts, worries and concerns with a close friend that listens without judgment (and without an attempt to “fix” you), your connection signal strength rises and that healthy connection feeds your inner need to be known. Suddenly you begin to find that your desire for unhealthy substitutes for connection lessens.

So the next time you feel like self-medicating with your preferred vice, why not pick up the phone instead and talk to a friend? Tell them what you are feeling. You might be surprised at the result.

The pastors of Kings County would love to help improve your signal strength and connection with Father God. And there are many wonderful people who are seeking Him as well who would love to encourage you on your spiritual journey. Why don’t you give church a try this weekend? You might be surprised at what you find.