An Ode to Dad

by Andrew Cromwell

Fathers, it is sad to say, seem to be an increasingly rare species. Oh, there’s plenty of men who have contributed to the existence of the next generation, but to be a “father” requires much more than that. And if fathers are a rare species, it can feel like good fathers are unicorns — fantastic, mythical and conspicuously absent.

And, I have to be honest, the way fathers are often portrayed on TV and in the movies — often absent, at worst abusive, at best mildly comical and totally powerless — gives us a sense that dads aren’t all that important. And, we all know plenty of people who didn’t have dads that have turned out to be wonderful people. So we might be tempted to believe the “traditional” view of dads is outdated and unnecessary. 

If we have come to that conclusion, we are sorely wrong.

Study after study reminds us of the importance of fathers. Today in our country, 1 in 3 children live in biological-absent father homes. 90% of all runaways are from fatherless homes. 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. 85% of children who show behavior disorders, 71% of high school dropouts, and 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes. And the list goes on.

Dads are a big deal. 

I not only had a father but I had a GREAT father. And while I would never want this column to digress into a smackdown contest of “my dad is better than your dad”, in the spirit of Father’s Day, I would like to offer this description of fatherhood that we might all strive for (and that my dad did pretty darn well on).

A great dad captures the heart of his kids. It’s not terribly hard to control your kids’ behavior, what is much more challenging is to win over their heart. But if you get their heart, you also get their behavior. My dad was more interested in the motives of my heart than he was on just what I did with my hands or said with my mouth. While my actions were very important, he realized that everything flows from the heart (Luke 6:45).

A great dad knows the value of time (Ephesians 5:16). Parenting is such a challenge because while you know that every moment is important, most days you just feel like you can barely make it through the day (especially when the kids are little). But a great dad pushes through the fatigue and the selfishness and spends time with his kids. My dad understood the words of encouragement he spoke when we were small echoed into the future and formed destinies of success and beauty for his children. He recognized the minutes spent being interested in what his kids were interested in were investments that would pay long-term dividends.

A great dad puts God first (Proverbs 3:6). Great dads have their priorities straight and they have a correct perspective. Nothing else can substitute for a dad who puts the Greatest Father first and foremost in his life. My dad knew Father God. He went to Him first when he didn’t have the answers. He chose to look at his children and at all people through the eyes of the Father — eyes that always saw the value in people. He knew true strength was not found by forcing his way, but rather by yielding his heart to the King. 

Thanks dad for leading the way and giving me a model for strong fatherhood. I’m seeking to follow your example and put God first, know the value of time well spent and capture my kids’ hearts.