by Tim Howard
My
wife and I were in Ogden Utah last week doing a leadership seminar when we
celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary. The people who know me think my wife
must be a Saint for putting up with me for so long. I agree!
If
you ask me how long I have been married I would say: “Not long enough!” Donna
is the greatest gift anyone could receive.
It
was February 16, 1973 when I spoke these words to my wife. “ I, Tim
Howard take you Donna to be my wife – to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better or for worse. I promise to love you the same way Jesus loves
me. I promise to support you, cherish you, respect you, and be faithful
to only you for as long as we both shall live.”
I
was 22 at the time and didn’t fully understand the meaning of that phrase ‘for
better or for worse’. After all these years, however, I now have a clue.
We’ve
had our share of bad times! We have both thought about quitting.
The word divorce has crossed our minds and when we thought it couldn’t get much
worse, it did!
It’s
laughable now but it was painful then. Maybe you have had some bad times
in your marriage or possibly you are in a difficult season right now. I
want you to know, your bad times don’t have to destroy you. When God is
allowed to work – They can develop you.
Life
is not just about growing up! To succeed in life you must grow down as
well. Trees that grow high will not stand against the winds of time
unless they have deep roots. God uses the ‘worse’ times – the ‘down’
times to develop a deep root system in your life. These roots will keep
you from crumbling under adversity.
Paul
the Apostle conveys this truth in the New Testament. Romans 5:3-5,
“We can rejoice too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that
they are good for us—they help us learn to endure. And endurance develops
strength of character in us, and character strengthens our confident
expectation of salvation. And this expectation will not disappoint us…”
Here
are five decisions that can change a ‘down’ into an ‘up.’
1.
Never Quit! When things get tough, don’t stop doing the little
things that made your marriage wonderful. Remember, long before a divorce
is ever finalized, someone quit doing the right things.
2.
Look for the gold in each other and don’t focus on the dirt. No one finds
gold without going through some dirt and no one finds gold if they focus on the
dirt.
3.
Love from your heart and not only from the emotions. In the ‘worse’ times,
you need to decide to love your mate even though you may not like them.
Love is a decision.
4.
Don’t hide things from each other. Psalm 32 tells how devastating this is.
5.
Make God and His desire your first priority. When He is first, things
fall into place. Check out Matthew 6:33 and discover God’s promise to
you.
I am very thankful we have experienced far more of the ‘up’ years than ‘down.’ When God is involved the ‘Ups’ make the ‘Downs – worth it.
I am very thankful we have experienced far more of the ‘up’ years than ‘down.’ When God is involved the ‘Ups’ make the ‘Downs – worth it.
So glad you found your way through.
ReplyDeleteSuch a great example!!! Well said and very inspirational!!
ReplyDelete