Building to Code

by Andrew Cromwell

If you have ever built or remodeled a house or been a part of some other construction project, you have had the experience of having to submit your plans to the building department. You then waited (and waited and waited) while the drawings were inspected to determine whether they met code. If there were areas where inadequate engineering was done or mistakes were made, the building department made a list of corrections.

The process can sometimes be frustrating for those of us who don’t understand why so much time is taken to ensure that every detail of the code is followed. It can seem to create unnecessary delay and expense when all we want to do is to add a simple room on to our house or cover our back patio. But the building code is designed to create safer, more stable structures that are stronger, more energy efficient, and less likely to burn down in a fire or collapse in an earthquake.

By following the code, the final product is better. The code is like a recipe for a good cake. If you use the right ingredients and follow the instructions, you will soon be enjoying a delicious dessert. But if you get things out of order or swap the salt for the sugar, your experience will not be so pleasant.

Building strong families and relationships work in the same way. If our families are built to code, then they will weather the storms of life, but if they are not, they are likely to implode. We often wonder why our marriages aren’t working or our relationships with our kids are so difficult. Frequently we will blame the difficult experiences of life. We think, if so-and-so wouldn’t have done that or if we wouldn’t have had that financial crisis, then we wouldn’t have split up because of the stress.

But the problem is not the problem. The problem is the construction.

The good news about families and relationships is that you can start making positive changes at any time. Families are living structures and while you may not be able to fix everything in a day, you can make an incredible improvement in a short time.

What is in the building code of healthy families? Among many other things, I believe you will find: soft hearts willing to admit wrong and ask forgiveness, open arms ready to extend compassion and grace, clear boundaries communicating right from wrong, kind communication seeking to understand and not just be understood, and forward vision believing tomorrow can be better.

Families built on these principles can weather the storms of life. That is because the building code didn’t come from us but from our Creator. He really does know best and He always kindly offers us corrections that will help us get back on track. 

How are your family relationships? Perhaps there are some cracks that are warning signs of coming expensive repairs. It might be time to go back to the code.