I'm Offended

Have you ever spent too much time in the sun, and was left with sensitive skin, only to have someone unknowingly come up and pat you (feels more like a slap!) on the back? Or maybe you did a few too many squats at the gym, and then your children run and jump onto your lap? One year, my husband broke his right hand. The weeks after he had his cast removed, several people at church unknowingly squeezed his tender hand in a normal Sunday morning greeting (probably with some additional force because men do that sort of thing!).

I feel that our culture is living with a sunburn right now. The opportunity to say the wrong thing or step out insensitively is so great! I have found myself apologizing preemptively when I’m with a mixed group, because every statement could be taken the wrong way. I do not think sensitivity to the feelings of those around me is a bad thing at all. But I do think assuming offense, for as many things that we are offended by, is damaging. Living with a sunburn is living with limitations.

In response to this wide capacity for offense, I find myself embracing the inevitable far too readily. I’ve said out loud, multiple times, that if there’s one thing I learned from 2020, it’s how to process being offensive. In recent prayers, I began to ask the Lord, “Is this one of the lessons you want me to have learned?” I am aware that not every learned response is one given by our Heavenly Father. After praying, and studying, I realize the answer is both yes and no.

Yes, we are entering into a day, when following Christ will be more and more offensive. If I am following the voice of man more than the voice of God, I will not be following God for long. There are certain aspects of the Gospel that will not settle in a world of subjective truth. The fact that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life and no one gets to heaven except through Him is a slap in the face to certain people - those who assume their religion or good behavior warrants them entry through the pearly gates. The idea that I can love people and have grace for people, even after they sin, is frustrating in a culture when we get to pass judgment without actually having correct information. Ideas like modesty, biblical marriage, and sexual purity are seen as subjugation, bigotry, and old-fashioned intolerance. So yes, understanding that my obedience to Christ could offend someone is definitely a valuable lesson learned.

But also, no. God is not desiring that we are offensive to be offensive. I have found myself using my awareness of a sensitive world to disregard wisdom, prudence, and compassion. The fact that I will offend someone, almost no matter what I do, does not give me license to willingly offend just to avoid the work of grace. In the book, The Bait of Satan, by John Bevere, he writes, “Jesus offended some people by obeying His Father, but He never caused an offense in order to assert His own rights.” We must pull back the curtain of our own hearts to get to the motivations behind our words and actions. Are we saying this offensive thing to experience personal gain, win an argument or satisfy something in our own heart? Or to love God, which sometimes offends?

My prayer for God’s people, today, is that we would keep learning and staying sensitive to the culture. That we would not grow callous and, therefore, fumble our opportunities to shine light into dark places. That, while we will offend because of the nature of the gospel, we do not wreck the reception of the offensive gospel by slapping a sunburned culture for our own purposes. What a day to be alive! Yes, it’s difficult, but Jesus never promised it would be easy. The harvest is plenty. Let’s be a witness, to the ends of the earth.

Candace Cortez
Executive Pastor at Koinonia Church