Self Talk

by Tim Howard

Do you talk to yourself? You don’t have to fib, be embarrassed or hide the fact because all of us do a fair amount of self-talk. People might think we are crazy when they see us moving our lips as if speaking to someone nearby but I don’t think we’re unhinged. At least not all of us!

Truth be told: I even argue with myself and have been guilty of berating myself to some degree when there’s a failure to live up to my standards. I’ve learned, self-talk can be very helpful but it can also cause a lot of unnecessary pain if it’s not monitored.

King David talked to himself when he experienced a season of depression. In his discouragement and despondency, his conversation went something like this:

Psa. 42:5 Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God—soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.

When you talk to yourself it’s wise to speak truth!

Secular psychology says the key to health is to get in touch with your feelings. If you are angry, sad, hurt, discouraged etc. then vent your feelings.  Get them out.  Unleash them. But that's not enough because feelings are not always true.  The Bible doesn’t encourage us to ignore our feelings but challenges us to get in touch with the truth.  Getting in touch with your feelings is one thing but it's the truth that sets you free. 

When feelings become our focus and are allowed to drown out the facts, our self-talk will move us in the wrong direction.

The truest thing that will ever be spoken about you is what God says. For David, his feelings said: Everything is terrible. There’s no way out, I might as well give up. Elijah had a similar experience to David and it’s recorded in 1 Kings 19. The only difference is he expressed his emotions while David spoke the truth.

Elijah said: Life is terrible, I’ve had enough, I want to die. I’m the only one left. That self-talk ensconced and catapulted him into a deeper depression.

David, however, spoke the truth to himself. I may be feeling down, it may be difficult, the darkness may seem impenetrable but if I call on God, he will help. This season will pass. I will see the sun in the near future and my face will once again exhibit a smile. Why? Because God is on my side.

The results? He built a staircase out of the cellar while Elijah dug a deeper hole. David wasn’t doing an exercise in positive thought and talk. He was speaking the truth – about God and about himself. 

Be encouraged to monitor your self-talk. Check out what is being said and see if it is fact or feeling.  Ask God to help you stop the damning, degrading and damaging talk that goes on in your mind. Ask him to help you change the way you think and talk to yourself. It will make for a path that gets brighter and brighter. Proverbs 4:18

Time to Re-Engage

by Andrew Cromwell

The kids are starting back to school for another year. Summer is coming to an end (even if the heat isn’t done yet) and everyone is beginning to settle back into the routine of the fall. Football fans are gearing up to see who will dominate this year. Kids are heading back into their after-school sports programs. And I wouldn’t be surprised if the Halloween candy is in stores already. 

Often during summer, we disconnect (and rightly so). We go on trips, we spend time around the pool and we generally have an opportunity to step out of the everyday grind. And now, as we settle back into real life again, let me encourage you not to forget that this is a great time to re-engage in the things that matter.

Don’t let the scramble for the last trip to the coast or the pressure to get to Back to School night distract you from the opportunity you have to put some life-giving routines back into your schedule. As the kids get back into the routine of homework, it may just be that mom and dad need to do the same.

This is a great time to sit down with your spouse and talk about how the summer went and what you want the fall to look like. Maybe it’s time to ask forgiveness for some mistakes made and get a fresh start in your communication. Take the time to plan to make time for the two of you to get away -- even just for a night before the year is out. If you don’t do it now, next thing you’ll know the year will be over.

It’s a great time to sit down with your kids and talk about the school year. Tell them how much you love them and how you want to see them succeed. Tell them you’re sorry for not always being the greatest parent, but that you want to be there for them. Set some healthy boundaries on their time -- how much will be given to cell phones/video games/computers, how much will be given to TV, how much will be given to schoolwork.  Do it right now when they are in programming mode for the school year.

And most importantly, sit down with your Heavenly Father. It’s a great time to re-engage with Him. Start picking up your Bible as a regular part of your routine. Start taking your cares and concerns to Him. And maybe even start going to church. Maybe you haven’t been in a while, what a great time to get back in. Maybe you’ve never been, what a great time to start.

Don’t miss the opportunity that every new season presents. Now, it’s time to re-engage. 

What Do You Really Want?

by Jeff Acton

My wife and I dream of going to French Polynesia.  It’s the place you see in magazines, on Pinterest and the Travel Channel where wooden huts dangle over crystal clear water and the sun is ever shining.  I want to go there.  I want to enjoy the beauty and swim in the blue water.  I want to go with my wife while someone else watches our three kids.  I want a break in a beautiful place. And while I’m on the subject, I want to go after losing 30 pounds.  And I want someone else to pay.  And first class seats.  Maybe a private jet.

Want.  There are different types of want.  My desire to go to French Polynesia is in the “wouldn’t it be nice” category.  I dream of it occasionally when I’m stirred by the pictures of the idyllic beach setting, but realize that it is largely a fantasy.  Especially the 30 pounds and private jet.  Other wants are more immediate and pressing.  I want a new car because mine clunks and clanks.  I want a mattress that is comfortable.   I want a cheaper electrical bill and affordable health care.  I want my kids to obey my every word. I want the next cool gadget.  And I want a cheeseburger, which might work against the whole 30 pound thing.  

Want is a ubiquitous feeling among the human species.  We all want something.  Probably more accurately, we all want some things.  And even as I contemplate the wants of my life, I encounter ancient words from the Hebrew scriptures, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”  Think about that for a moment.  I-shall-not-want.  They are stirring and profound words that seem foreign to me.  And yet there they are, in Psalm 23, one of the most treasured passages in the human language.  

It is hard for me to imagine what the world would look like without want.  Moreover, it is difficult to imagine what my life would look like without want.  Want is pervasive.  It too frequently rules our lives.  And maybe that is the point of these words.  Want shouldn’t rule our life.  We shouldn’t be driven by want.  It shouldn’t be our master.  But so often it is.  

David, the writer of Psalm 23, understood that the antidote to a life mastered by want is one that is mastered by another.  That is why he begins the Psalm with “The Lord is my shepherd.”   A life without want can only be achieved by the shelter and care of a shepherd that can care for our needs.  It is found in understanding who God is and nurturing a relationship with Him.  It comes from a response to an invitation to live life with God. 

Our notion of want changes as we are lead by one who can take care of all of our needs.  French Polynesia sounds great, but a life without want sounds even better.  As paradoxical as it sounds, I want that kind of life. 

Living at the Margins

by Andrew Cromwell

Talk to almost anyone today and they will tell you they have no time.  Ask them why and they begin to list off all the things on their schedule — work, school, extracurricular activities (theirs and their kids’), church, extended family, service opportunities and more.  Schedules are a constant juggle and we just keep adding more.

Try to get together with someone for dinner and you’ll find yourself comparing notes and searching for an opening in an already overcrowded schedule.  Gone are the days of spur-of-the-moment activities...there is just no time. 

With a young family of my own, the time crunch is an ever-present reality.  My wife and I find ourselves fighting to protect our time and have decided that we must maintain a significant margin in our schedule. 

Why Margin is Key

Margin is space.  In a book, it is that white space on the edges of the page that surrounds the text.  On the road, we call it “the shoulder.”  Without margin, reading and driving are possible, but they become exhausting and anything but enjoyable.

Our schedules need margin too.  Sure, it is possible to live life without it, but it becomes exhausting and even dangerous.  Without strong boundaries around our schedules the joy of life begins to be lost in the race to get to the next event on the calendar.

Most importantly, margin is where the good stuff happens!  It is in the margin that we get to hear about our kids’ day at school as we sit around the dinner table, unhurried.  In the margin, we can enjoy a leisurely walk down the block with our spouse.  And it is in the margin where we are able to just hang-out with friends.

More is Not Better

Some have bought into the lie that more is better.  Others believe that saying “no” will damage their career or, even worse, disappoint their kids.  Either way, we push our schedules to the limit.  I have watched parents push their schedules and strain their marriage because they didn’t want their kids to miss out on something.  And I have watched marriages at the breaking point because someone failed to put limits on their work schedule.

Psalms 46:10 says, “be still and know that I am God.”  In this crazy, over stimulated insanely busy world we live in, we are rarely still.  We don’t have the time.  And we don’t have the time because we have forgotten the importance of margin. 

How’s Your Margin?

So, how’s your margin?  The next time you jump into the car to go to the next thing on your calendar, pause for a moment and ask God how important it really is.  Ask Him, what He thinks about your schedule and then ask yourself if you have left yourself time to actually listen to what He has to say.

The Right Place at the Right Time

by Tim Howard

Have you ever felt like you just didn’t have enough? I feel it often! I don’t think I have enough time, patience, money, energy and the list could continue.

One reason God allows us to reach moments of need and even desperation is because it reminds us that we are not self-sufficient. We are dependent and our reliance is to ultimately be upon Him. These defining moments are calling us to God.

In the Bible, I Kings chapter 17 records a very moving story that involves a single parent who’s reached a point of desperation. She has so little food in the house that she and her son are planning to eat their last meal together and then die. Due to a severe famine in the land their resources had run out.

It still happens today. According to World Hunger Statistics the total number of children that die every year from hunger is 1.5 million. That’s one death every 3.6 seconds. Maybe that’s why the Bible doesn’t give us her specific name. She represents so many who face similar circumstances.

 Not every story concludes with a ‘happily ever after’ ending but for this woman, it did. Her needs were provided for in a miraculous way, primarily because she was at the ‘right place at the right time.’

She hadn’t planned it. She didn’t have a long-range strategy nor did she comprehend what was about to happen. She was simply doing her best with what she had. 

Have you ever been in the right place at the right time?  When you are; positive things happened! Not because of your shrewd dealings or great intellect but because you happened to be positioned properly at the correct time. Eccl. 9:11 … “The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. NIV

Listen: God is in the business of strategically positioning you and me in the right place at the right time. A sense of destiny is the birthright for those who choose to follow Christ. God is awfully good at getting us where He wants us to go…

But here’s the catch: The right place often seems like the wrong place and the right time often seems like the wrong time!

Is it possible for me to understate the obvious? Being a widow with a dependent child with no food and no resources is typically a bad thing. A really bad thing! Finding yourself in a famine, without food, with a child and no one to help qualifies as a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Few would see this as the right place at the right time.

As it turns out, however, it was the right place and right time for her. I admire this widow because she did what was right to do and not what was easy to do. 

When you reach moments of desperation, it’s easy to forego what’s right and justify your actions on the basis of your need. When you cling to God, however, and follow His directives as this woman did, heaven can come to your aid. 

Could it be that you are right now in the right place at the right time even though it may feel like the wrong place and wrong time?

Standing Alone

by Andrew Cromwell

Almost everyone will find themselves standing alone in the crowd at some time or another. You know the experience. You are sure you are in the “right” on an issue and that there are others who will stand with you when the chips are down. But suddenly you look around and you are the only one standing there!

This is sure to happen to us at some point (and for some of us this happens pretty frequently). The real question is whether we are standing alone for the right reasons! Altogether too often, people call themselves “mavericks” when they are actually just stuck in the past and unwilling to change. Or worse, people stand alone because they are simply too full of pride to go and ask forgiveness for that thing they said or did that they shouldn’t have.

But when you stand alone because of principles like truth, justice and love, you can do so with confidence. For although you might be standing alone, you know you are planted in the right place. If you are mocked, persecuted and maligned, you can be assured you are in good company.  Men and women throughout history have unwaveringly stood for what is right, true and just and they have even given their lives for that cause.

If there is anyone in our history books that experienced this to its fullest, it was a man who was misunderstood by everyone. Those closest to him liked him but just couldn’t buy into the tough parts of his message. Those who were in positions of power rejected him because they saw him as a threat to their institutions. And his own father rejected him at the very moment of his greatest isolation.

And yet because Jesus Christ, the One and only God-man, stood alone, we never have to stand alone. Because He faced rejection from all, we never have to fear ultimate rejection. The Psalms say, “Though father and mother reject me, the Lord will receive me.” Hebrews says, “I [God] will never leave you, I will never forsake you.” And Romans says, “anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

They key to standing alone is standing for the right reasons and standing with the right Person. The idea is not to invite God into your fight; it is to join His fight! If we stand with Him, then we can be assured that we stand secure even if everything and everyone else in the world seems to be against us.

If you don’t have this kind of assurance, then either you have picked the wrong battle or you haven’t picked the right side! Maybe it’s time to do a heart evaluation and make sure that you have given your destiny over to the only Person who can really handle it - Father God.

Checkup Time

by Andrew Cromwell

Everything in our world needs care. Engines that are regularly serviced often run for years without a breakdown. Relationships that are cared for usually stay healthy and vibrant. Houses that are maintained and not neglected require far less attention than those that are ignored for even a short time (think of the state of the vacant foreclosures in your neighborhood). 

All things tend towards breakdown and decay. The second law of thermodynamics states that all systems, unless they have constant energy input, will eventually run down and stop. Beautiful bodies break down, marvelously manicured yards go to seed and even the most state of the art structures slide inexorably toward decrepitude.

  

This is the reason why we are encouraged to go to the doctor at least once a year. Those that are disciplined submit to this annual poking and prodding so that they can catch problems early and avoid major breakdowns. But those of us that do not often suffer the consequences of years of neglected maintenance. 

Your spiritual life is no different. Without regular maintenance and care, it tends towards disrepair. Perhaps once upon a time you were sensitive to the things of God and your ears were attuned to that which was just and right, but if you are not careful, the busyness of life keeps you from doing the basic maintenance. This is especially easy to do because your spiritual life is largely invisible. It is only seen through your actions and your speech and the state of your heart.  

So we find ourselves putting off those essential activities that would maintain our spiritual flame. We stop talking to God because there is no time. We stop reading His Word because we are too tired. We stop bowing our knee to His soft corrective call. And before we know it, we are far down the road, headed for a breakdown.

Hearts that are neglected have attacks. Homes that are neglected cost you an arm and a leg. Spouses that are neglected will destroy your family and your finances. A neglected spiritual life will cost you your soul.