The Squeeze Principle

by Tim Howard

When I was a small boy I hated naps with a passion. My mother’s love for naps, however, greatly exceeded my hatred and I was doomed to take one each and every day.  I think her love for them was rooted in the fact that she got a break from me.  If the truth were known, it may have been her favorite time of the day!   I recall one afternoon waking up from one of those naps and within a few minutes, my mom told me to go back to bed.  Curious as to why, I asked for a reason (in a demanding tone) and she said, “Because you got up on the wrong side of the bed.”  That didn’t make sense to me but I soon learned she was talking about my attitude. 

A person’s attitude is connected to his or her focus and perception of life. In my specific case, I hated naps and a bad attitude manifested itself.  One man calls it the ‘Squeeze’ principle. It’s when the pressures of life try to squeeze your hope, joy, and peace out of you. The pressures do not create the attitude - only reveal it! 

In Acts 16:22 –25, Paul and Silas were having a challenging day.  They were being squeezed!  They had been preaching the Gospel in Philippi and the crowd was attacking them.  They were ultimately beaten and thrown into prison.  About midnight, “Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening to them.”  As I read this narrative, I asked myself: “Isn’t there something wrong with this picture?”  They have been stripped, imprisoned, put in stocks, and now they’re singing. Not to mention they had done no crime.

I would have expected this verse to read that Paul and Silas were having a pity party and complaining at midnight or blaming God and others for their current dilemma.  The truth, however, is that these two men simply focused on God and not their current situation. Their focus and perception created a positive attitude while others listened intently.

A positive attitude in the midst of dark times will influence people greatly.  Don’t forget the greatest impact of your life will often come at the time of greatest pain.  Maybe you’re being squeezed right now.  How are you handling it?  Are you reacting, blaming and criticizing? Or are you responding, focusing on the future and trusting God?

When life squeezes you – God wants to build your character!

To build character you don’t need to get up on the other side of the bed! You need to:

1. Have the right values.

One educator said: "Teaching kids to count is wonderful, but teaching them what counts is best."

2. Do the right thing.

People of character know there is no right way to do the wrong thing. If you start something wrong, you'll end wrong. You've got to do the right thing.

3. Be the right kind of person.

When you walk humbly, live a lifestyle of giving, do acts of kindness and consider others before yourself. You are the right kind of person.

4. Have the right attitude.

Someone said that your attitude will determine your altitude! 

By the way… I have learned to love naps.  I wish I could take one each and every day.

Living Under The Sun

by Tim Howard

Ever go into a store or visit a coffee shop and upon entering you’re asked by one of the employees – ‘How are You Doing?’ We all have! Who hasn’t been told by a sales clerk, a personal attendant or some other representative to ‘Have a nice day’ upon leaving – Even if it’s 6 pm and the day is behind us!

Phrases like this are commonplace and are usually asked or spoken with no genuine desire to ascertain the truth. They are just mind-less statements full of niceties and pleasantries.

As a disclaimer: I too, find myself asking rhetorical questions that don’t require an answer and make statements that aren’t rooted in genuine concern.

When I do, however, broach the subject of ‘wellbeing’ with a person and ask the question –

'How are you doing?' with sincerity, I’m amazed to hear this phrase more often than ever before. “I’m Tired!”

We live in a decade of tiredness! Speaking with a friend recently – she was describing the challenges of raising a grandchild. I chimed in by saying: “ I can relate!” Having my grandson living with us and being a part of the ongoing process of development can be exhausting. I found myself saying to this person: “ People tell me that children keep you young but mine just keeps me tired’

Weariness is epidemic! People are worn out, exhausted, fatigued, dog-tired, frazzled and too often live on the edge of burnout. In view of this, it may be helpful to know that weariness is not a product of Hard Work. Working too hard does not create weariness – Working too hard on the things that don’t really matter – causes this condition.

Solomon in the book of Ecclesiastes said: When you give yourself to things ‘Under the Sun’ – things that are temporal and fleeting without any real connection to those things ‘Above the Sun’ – things that are eternal, You will experience weariness!

That may be the rationale that prompted The Apostle Paul to gives this admonition: Col. 3:2 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”

Jesus even said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest… “ 

The real answer to weariness is found when you connect the temporal to the eternal – The things that are ‘Above!’ produce lasting ramifications and are eternal because they are connected to Jesus – who is eternal.

When this happens – our life ‘Under the Sun’ is redefined by those things ‘Above the Sun.’ Meaning, purpose, hope, joy, and strength begin to dispel and replace weariness and fatigue. Our lives receive a resurrection of sorts!

So… How are you doing? Seriously! Are you focused on things under the sun? Is life all about ‘now’ and just trying to survive. Are the earthly things and challenges capturing your full attention? Have you lost sight of the ‘Big Picture? 

Maybe a glance upward will restore a better perspective. When you focus on things ‘Above the Sun’ you open the door for God to do a long-lasting positive change in your life. My family has experienced this first hand. Yes, we still get tired from work but have discovered we can go from strength to strength when we build a life on things above the Sun. Ps 84:5-7

Be Careful What You Ask For!

by Tim Howard

It was a joke and I laughed when I heard it! A couple in their mid-fifties was trying to rekindle a spark in their marriage when they were approached by a “Genie.” This strange character stated that he would give each of them one wish beginning with the woman. She, without hesitation, recalled their honeymoon on the tropical island of Maui and said, please put us on that beautiful beach so we can walk together and renew our love. Instantly the beauty of a tropical paradise surrounded them. The man, after looking around and seeing other women 20 years younger than himself, asked the Genie to make his wife 20 years younger than himself. In an instant, he was 75 years old! You may be laughing like me but don’t miss the moral. It is this: Be careful what you ask for! Sometimes your request produces something quite unexpected.

The Bible makes it very clear that we can ask God for anything. If, however, you are bold enough to make a request, you better be prepared for one of four answers.

1.    If the request is wrong, God will say “No.” The apostle James in Chapter 4 tells us that it is possible to ask for things that might be detrimental to our development. Along with that fact, he also reveals that it is possible to ask for something with wrong motives. When this happens, be prepared for God to say “No.” With hindsight, I have discovered this to be a blessing rather than a curse. God has spared me from many disasters by not fulfilling my desires because what I want isn’t always what’s best for me.

2.    If the timing is wrong, God will say, “Slow.” Little children want everything “Now” and my children were no exception. They didn’t understand the phrase, delayed gratification. They have learned, however, that timing is extremely important in the journey called life. Many people miss out on a lot of things and get buried in a lot of problems because they will not choose to exercise patience and self-control. 

3.    If you are not yet ready to receive the request, God will say “Grow.” Sometimes, God wants to throw us the ball but we don’t have our heads in the game. We are distracted by many pleasures at the expense of pursuing our purpose. God graciously waits for us and speaks the truth in love so we will grow up in all aspects.

4.    Last of all, when the timing is right, you are right and the request is right, God says, “Yes, Let’s Go” I personally believe this is God’s favorite answer. He wants to say YES!

God ALWAYS answers prayer! It may not be the answer you want but it’s an answer you can accept if you know this truth: God doesn’t always give you what you want but he always gives you what you need. God loves you enough to say no, slow or grow even though it may produce some pain. Jesus wants to help you! He says: Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell Him what you need, and thank God for all he has done.  If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. If God approached you and said He would answer one prayer, what would your request be?

What Every Kid Needs

by Sylvia Gaston

Hot off the heels of Vacation Bible School and Father’s Day brings a flood of observations and thoughts about what a kid really needs.

Surrounded by hundreds of kids this past two weeks makes me realize how we underestimate the importance of a solid adult in a kid’s life.

Before you even learn their story, it’s easy to identify a kid in foster care or a kid with parents who are not really present or a kid who wishes he had a dad in his life. They are missing something. They desperately desire that thing they don’t have. This often leads them to find a way to get the attention they crave in negative or destructive ways.

In my profession, you get to know kids in this order:

• The troublesome kid
• The helpful, smart kid
• The quiet or shy kid

Early in my Children’s Ministry career, I ran across a poster that read, “The most unlovable child is the one who needs it the most.” Over the years, I have found that to be true.

All kids need a few simple things. These things cannot be bought. It isn’t elaborate trips, the latest gadgets, or the finest clothes. What kids need isn’t “things” at all but relationship.

According to Harley Rotbart, MD, parenting expert and Vice Chair Emeritus of Pediatrics at Children's Hospital Colorado, the eight things kids need to thrive are:

1. Security: Kids must feel safe and sound: shelter, food, clothing, medical care and protection from harm.
2. Stability: Stability comes from family and community. Ideally, a family remains together in a stable household, but when that's not possible, it's important to disrupt the child's life as little as possible. Kids and families should be a part of a larger community for a sense of belonging, tradition and cultural identity.
3. Consistency: Parents should synchronize their parenting and make sure important values stay consistent.
4. Emotional support: Parents' words and actions should encourage trust, respect, self-esteem and, ultimately, independence.
5. Love: Saying and showing you love your kids can overcome almost any parenting "mistakes" you might make.
6. Education: Make sure your kids get the best possible education for their future. This includes school, of course, but it also includes the invaluable life lessons you provide.
7. Positive role models: You are your kids' first and most important role model. Instill your values and teach children empathy by being the kind of person you want them to become.
8. Structure: Rules, boundaries, and limits: Without them, kids are forced to be adults before they are ready, and they lose respect for you and other adults.

I agree with Dr. Rotbart but would add two more very important things:

Time: Kids often gauge their worth by how much time they are given. It can be time spent doing the simplest of things. Time shows that you value them, love them, and like being in their company. It goes a long way in developing a strong sense of worth, sense of self, and self-esteem.

Faith: Kids need to know about God. They need to know Who created them - on purpose and for a purpose. They need to know that God loves them unconditionally and that He is their lifelong Helper through good times and bad.

You are your child’s spiritual leader. God tells us how important that is in His Word, the Bible. 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. Always remember these commands that I give you today. Be sure to teach them to your children. Talk about these commands when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road. Talk about them when you lie down and when you get up.”             Deuteronomy 6:5-7

Life is harder and more confusing for kids today than ever. We must equip them as best we can so they can thrive as children and thrive as adults. That includes equipping them to have a life with God – here on earth and after they leave this earth.

Will you always get it right? No. I’ve made more parenting mistakes than I can count. But, despite the mistakes made, I know with certainty that my kids know how much they are loved and that my husband and I will be there to support them, guide them, and pray with them through all that life throws at them.

When they make mistakes or disappoint us (and they will), we will put relationship before being right. That keeps the door open, and the conversations going, so that we have the opportunity to give the love and influence they need. 

Love is simple and it’s what every kid needs.

Advice for Father

by Tim Howard

Happy Fathers day to all the dads! 

Fathers have a tremendous influence in the lives of their children and God designed it that way. A dad’s actions speak loudly and his words carry tremendous weight when they are guarded and guided by time-tested truth. A father, however, who chooses to be an absentee dad, for whatever reason weakens the very fabric that stabilizes the family unit.

A word of wisdom comes from a man named Moses. He was adopted by a wealthy family but after being reunited with his family of origin and becoming a father himself, he said these words to all future dads: Deut. 4:9 “… be careful and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children.” 

Great fathers can’t afford to live by this motto: “Do as I say and not as I do.” If you are going to teach something that’s worth accepting and following then be careful to follow your own advice. When someone isn’t practicing what he or she preaches – It’s noticeable.

Make sure to watch over your own lifestyle and choices in order to impact your family because teaching children is more than conveying information. You teach what you know but you reproduce who you are.

A second word of advice is a proverb and even though there is no guarantee, there is a promise. King Solomon said: Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will remember it. Kids are not always going to follow good advice but if they choose to stray, the training received from childhood can greatly help them get back on track.

When kids find themselves lost or stuck in the difficulties of life, they won’t know what to do or where to go if a moral compass hasn’t been planted within them. Parents and fathers especially have a great opportunity to plant this moral compass by training their children in the ways of the Lord. Don’t merely tell your kids what to do, coach them and show them. It takes more time to train than tell but it is worth it in the long run.

A third and final word of advice to fathers comes from the New Testament. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger…”

As a father myself, I unknowingly provoked my kids at times but learned some things along the way that’s helped me change. A dad can provoke his children to the point of frustration and anger if he chooses to dictate everything and discuss nothing! Making his view the right and only view will also infuriate kids. Trying to fix your children without really listening to them or making ‘Dad’s’ rules more important than relationships doesn’t help very much either.

Dads! As we celebrate Fathers this weekend, remember the advice God gives in His Word. It will make a good father into a great father.

May you have a Happy Fathers Day this Weekend!

The Story of the Bible

by Andrew Cromwell

Most people know some Bible stories, but many don’t know the story of the Bible. Even if you grew up going to Sunday school, chances are you might have missed it. And if you didn’t grow up in church, then the few stories you do know often don’t make sense.

There are the stories we like to tell—like David and Goliath—and then there are some that don’t get mentioned very often—like Elisha calling down bears to maul belligerent teenagers. And without an understanding of how things fit, we can run into stories that don’t fit into our experience of reality. They seem so strange and outlandish that we can start to question the whole thing.

Some of us know people or have kids that have walked away from the faith because of something along these lines. You yourself might even be in that situation. The good news is that when you start to understand the larger story of the Bible and how the pieces fit together, then you just might discover that you don’t have to question everything just because one thing is strange.

What makes this more complicated is that the way we got our Bible is different from how we got THE Bible. Today when you buy a Bible, it is beautifully wrapped, has pretty maps in the back, is chaptered and versed, and it may even have red letters just so we don’t miss Jesus’ words. We can easily make the mistake and think that the Bible is a book where you start at the beginning and just read on through.

But the Bible is so much more than just a book. And it doesn’t actually start with Genesis. While Genesis may be at the beginning of the Bible, the truth is the story of the Bible actually begins closer to the middle with four accounts of the life of Jesus.

You see, the Bible would not even exist if it were not for something extraordinary that HAPPENED. This event was so shocking that it transformed a group of men and women who were cowering in fear, into men and women who couldn’t be shut up. It sparked a movement that produced the church and eventually the Bible. As a side note: the church didn’t have a Bible for the first three hundred plus years!

This incredible event is the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. Had Jesus not come back to life after being dead for three days, His followers would have probably stayed in hiding with their hearts broken. But when Jesus appeared to not just a few but to many (the Apostle Paul pegs the number at 500) over the next forty days, they were profoundly convinced that everything Jesus said was true. Because after all, you should listen to the person that predicts their own death and resurrection and then pulls it off!

And so Jesus’ followers began to write down what He had said and done while He was on the earth. Because they knew it was important. So important, that not just one person wrote it down but many. 

There’s so much more to the story! For now, it is enough to say that the real question for us all is not, “Do I have a problem with a story in the Bible?” Rather, the question we must all seriously wrestle with is, “Did Jesus really come back to life and prove everything He said was true?” That’s the REAL question!

What Is A Savior And Why Do I Need One? (A Testimony With Lots Of Definitions)

by Sylvia Gaston

I am a “prove it to me” person. I will listen to anything you have to say but, most of the time, before I actually believe it, I will need proof.

In my young adult life, I had the same attitude about God, Jesus, the Bible, etc. I believed in God because I couldn’t fathom our existence just ‘evolved’ from nothingness. Yet, faith held no real meaning for me. I had no use for a savior to worship, and I questioned my need for religion.

By definition, a savior is a person who saves someone or something from danger. In Christianity, God or Jesus Christ is the redeemer of sin and saver of souls. I felt no danger and therefore, didn’t need to be saved from it.

Did I need a savior to redeem me from sin to save my soul? Since I didn’t have a clear definition of sin and how sin endangered my soul, I didn’t need a savior.

So, just what is sin and what is my soul?

Sin is an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law; a wrongdoing, act of evil/wickedness, crime, offense, or misdeed.

I knew that I sinned but did that really make me evil? That depends on your definition of goodness. We imagine ourselves to be relatively good but with no clear understanding of what true goodness is, we simply use our own gauge and definition. People all over the world and from all walks of life have their own self-defined scale of acceptable goodness. That’s frightening.

What is this divine law we are to live up to? Divine law is law that is from a transcendent source, such as the will of God or gods, in contrast to man-made law. Divine laws are typically regarded as superior to man-made laws, sometimes due to an understanding that their source is beyond human knowledge and human reason.

I was quite sure that I couldn’t live up to the goodness as defined by God.

And what about my soul? The dictionary defines that as: 1) the principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans, regarded as an entity separate from the body; 2) the spiritual part of humans regarded in its moral aspect, believed to survive death and be subject to happiness or misery in a life to come.

Following this train of thought, it seems that I DID need a savior to save me from myself. Who knew? 

You see, we were created on purpose and for a purpose. We ALL were created to worship the Creator - to worship Him here on Earth until we worship Him face to face in Heaven. Humans will always worship something.

Sin separates us from God, Who is the essence of goodness. God sent His son Jesus to us. In a plan that I don’t fully understand, Jesus sacrificed His life to make amends for my sins (and yours).

Here’s where faith, and God’s Spirit, finally got my attention. Faith, belief not based on proof, is contradictory to my personality. Yet, God continued to attract and amaze me with a series of ‘coincidences’ that piqued my curiosity about this Creator and what He wanted for me and from me.

I eventually took a step of faith and said, “OK, God, I’ll follow You and see if all of this ‘savior Jesus’ stuff is real.” (I know…my arrogance knows no bounds).

I have never looked back. Not all of my questions have been answered – there are some things that still don’t make sense to me or that my puny brain cannot yet comprehend. However, I choose to follow the God/Man who created everything, including me.

Over the years, He has proven to me in amazing, supernatural ways that He exists and is very much with me and for me. He has revealed to me that He knows me and knows my circumstances. He has guided me through good times and bad. He has called me to become something and to do some things that I did not plan for myself. He’s always there. And, oh, how He loves me!

Ironically, I still keep a mental list of questions to ask God when I see Him after my time here on earth is over. Some things never change – including my ridiculous personality.

Do you need a savior to redeem your soul? Yes – and I pray that your journey in pursuit of your savior, Jesus, begins and never ends! 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. – Jeremiah 29:11