Kid's Spell Love - TIME

by Roger Watson

This is a chapter title from Zig Ziglar’s book Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World.  The lazy-hazy days of summer may afford your kids with ample extra time for fun and adventure, but it doesn’t add extra hours to most parent’s calendars.My children are grown adults but I remember working full time and attending graduate school when they were young. It seemed like every spare moment was working to provide a living or studying to enhance our future.  I did not have time to invest hours of undivided attention toward them.  It did not mean my love was lacking, it meant I was busy. Can you identify with this challenge in your life?

My definition of love involves making every effort to put the needs of others above your own. Not in place of your needs, but thinking of the other person’s needs first.  In the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi he gives some sound advice, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” Kids do need our time but they also have other needs that we must be aware of.

Let me give three suggestions that may help in your attempts to love your children and meet their needs:

1) Know the needs at their developmental stage. Pre-schoolers need consistency from their family to build trust, and must be given opportunities to try out their developing skills at their own pace; Elementary children must be allowed to take initiative and be praised for accomplishments they are achieving; Teenagers and Young adults are trying to discover their own identity and develop intimacy. This is not a stage for parents to neglect or fear, it’s a time you get to be a coach in their lives.  They need your active involvement.

2) Affirm their perspectives. Children of all ages need to know that their opinion matters. Find ways to validate their insights. When my children were in grade school I let them plan the vacation route we took from Hanford, CA to Spearfish, S.D. and back. It was the best road trip we ever took as a family. The action communicated their opinion mattered. And finally,

3) Verbally bless their God-given talents and abilities. Proverbs 18:21 says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Yelling at or constantly criticizing the inconveniences your children may be creating has a way of crushing their spirit and destroying their self-esteem. Investing in their talents and highlighting their strengths 
will produce dividends of joy and delight for years to come.  

So while you are trying to find those extra minutes to invest in your children to show your love, focus your energy into areas of need in their lives and make the most out of the time you do have.  And have a great summer, you need it!