Finding Healing

by Candace Cortez

I remember about a year ago, sitting at a Christian worship conference and listening to a known, followed, and respected pastor speak candidly about his mental breakdown the year prior. I remember sitting there in tears, so thankful for his willingness to demonstrate that mental health issues, anxiety and depression are not absent within our church walls. It is scary as a leader to admit that you are struggling. It’s even scarier to admit that you needed more than prayer to get you through your dark time. But for most people, this is truth. 

Recently a series came out on Netflix called “13 Reasons Why” which has caused a lot of talk (some may say controversy) over the explicit nature in which the series displays suicide. The show follows the story of a girl in high school named Hannah who ends her own life after many instances of bullying, sexual molestation, and situational tragedies. She then depicts her process of choosing suicide and the 13 people who were involved in pushing her towards her sad end. 

I’ve watched the series and as a youth pastor I am encouraging parents with teenage students to also watch the show, ESPECIALLY if their student is already watching. I do not however, encourage young students to watch. The show has earned its rating of TV-MA for its language, drugs and underage drinking, multiple rapes, nudity, violence, and a graphic and very realistic suicide scene. 

Now that that disclaimer is out of the way, I can write about what I actually want to focus on: healing. 

The Netflix series called 13 Reasons Why has brought suicide prevention to the table in a way that is being heard and received by so many. I do not believe the Church can sit this one out. We need to be in the conversation. Why? Not to gain momentum on another social platform. Not to gain favor in the eyes of the community. Not to prove that Christianity is the best way. But because love heals, and God is love. 

I believe faith is not the absence of awareness. Yes, we can pray. But we are not limited to just praying. We can do more. 

I wholeheartedly believe in the power of prayer, and that God hears when I talk to Him. But I also know He has not limited His process of healing to that one mode. As the church, we can be a part of opening the door to the several different avenues that healings manifest themselves. 

God can and does heal brokenness. Sometimes it’s the unexplainable type of healing. Sometimes healing comes through close friendship and intimacy with another of God’s creation. (I believe friendship is such a miraculous gift!) Sometimes healing comes from medicine. Sometimes healing comes from wise counsel. 

It’s ok to get help. It’s ok to seek treatment. It’s ok to pray. It’s to ask God for healing while also taking medication. 

As Christians, we need to be sensitive to the role we play in bringing light to the dark hours of the people within our circle of influence. Here are 3 simple ways we can begin to increase our sensitivity to those around us who may be struggling, so we can step in and take their hand for this journey towards health and healing. 

1.  Pay attention! God gives the gift of discernment to see through the faces people wear when they are in public. Most people will give signs that they are struggling. Some common signs are substance abuse, social withdrawal, extreme emotional responses (either too much or too little), sudden changes in appearances or hygiene habits and excessive internet use. 
2. Ask the question. It’s ok to ask one more question than “hey how are you?” It’s very easy to say ok and force the conversation to move on. Being in community with people means getting past the pleasantries and growing an interest for knowing others well. Especially if you suspect someone is struggling, ask and keep asking to create that open door for someone to reach out. 
3.  Know that you are not alone. You absolutely should be praying for those who are struggling around you. A lot of people who are going through darkness will need professional help. Most people will need more than one person to be in their corner. You are a great start, but should not try to carry the burden of walking alongside someone alone. 

If you are struggling today, I am praying for you. I pray that you know the church is available to you. You don’t have to be “whole” to walk through those doors, because none of us are. We do not have all the answers, but we for sure know the One who does. 

•   National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (suicidepreventionlifeline.org)
•   Suicide Prevention Resource Center (sprc.org)
•   American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (afsp.org)
•   American Association of Suicidology (suicidology.org).

Candace Cortez is the Youth Pastor at Koinonia Church. Any comments can be sent to: candace@kchanford.com