Guilty Regrets

Pastor Blake Cromwell

Blessed is he who’s transgressions are covered, who’s sins are forgiven. —Psalm 32:1

How often do you look back on your life and feel guilty because of something you did in the past? Wouldn’t it be nice to go back and undo what has been irrevocably done? We know that changing the past is impossible and yet we are tortured by how different choices could have lead to different results. Are you trapped in a vicious cycle of regret? There is a way out.

Regrets are a universal experience. We all have them, but we deal with them differently. It seems that some of the happiest people are those who have learned not to let regret control their lives. In this article, we want to show you how you can walk free of regret starting today. First we’ll look at how people often deal with their regrets incorrectly, then we’ll take a look at how we should deal with our regrets. Finally, we’ll look at how God looks at our regrets.

Common Reactions to Regret
There are many different reactions to regret, but most people react in one of three ways. First, we attempt to hide our regrets. Sometimes we do this by compromising what we believe in and sometimes we do it by rationalization. When we compromise we lower our standards to make ourselves feel better about what we have done. When we rationalize our behavior, we look for examples of other people acting in the same way and then tell ourselves it’s okay because everyone’s doing it. The problem with hiding our regrets is that it is only a temporary solution, we can’t lie to ourselves forever.

Second, we blame others for our feelings of regret. We tell ourselves that it is society’s fault that we are the way we are. Here we take our guilt and convert it into blame. We blame others to the degree that we feel guilty about the past.

Third, we beat ourselves up. Sometimes we figure that we need to punish ourselves because we feel so bad about the past. This self-punishment usually takes the form of an internal dialogue, but sometimes it can even go so far as causing physical harm to oneself. The problem with self-punishment is that self never knows when to quit punishing.

How to Deal with Regret
There are three steps to learning to deal with regret in our lives. It is important for us to do all of the steps in order to begin to experience freedom from the feelings of guilt and pain. The very first thing we need to do is to confess (Ps. 32:5). This is the most painful step on the road to freedom. Confession requires a willingness to open up to God and tell Him about your pain and mistakes. Don’t worry, God won’t be surprised, but He will be willing to forgive.

The second step is to receive the Father’s forgiveness (Ps. 103:3). The beautiful thing about God’s forgiveness is that it is instantaneous and complete. When we have confessed, we can receive His transforming power into our lives. We need His forgiveness.

The third step is to focus on the future (Is. 43:18-19). When we are focused on the past, we cannot reach forward to the future. We all have failed. The difference between a failed life and a successful one is the willingness to get up one more time. We must fix our eyes on the promise of the future and leave the mistakes behind us. God does and so should we.

How God Deals with Our Regrets
God is interested in more then just forgiving us for our past mistakes, He is also interested in changing us into different people. God desires to work in two areas of our life so that our healing from regrets can be complete. First, He desires to cleanse our conscience (Is. 1:18). God promises to remove our sins completely from us. We might remember the mistakes of the past, but they no longer hurt because He has dealt with the guilt and shame. Second, He desires to change our character (2 Cor. 5:17). God loves us the way we are, but His love also won’t allow Him to leave us the way we are. God wants us to grow up and become whole individuals. He will transform us into the people we need to be.

If you are plagued by guilty regrets, you can find freedom today through relationship with Jesus Christ. Why don’t you ask Him to come and wipe the pain away?

The pastors in Kings County would love to see you in church this weekend. God bless you.